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That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

Where to invade next Red, White and Very Blue

I don’t know who Michael Moore is making movies for at this point. That’s not an indictment or even a suggestion that Where to Invade Next isn’t fascinating. It’s just that, by this point in his outspoken career, Moore is essentially Voldemort to conservatives and a somewhat boorish mouthpiece for liberal ideology. If his intent is to educate or influence those who don’t agree with him, he will continue to fail...


Maxresdefault (4) F This Movie

The precise moment that Gods of Egypt really becomes Gods of Egypt is when a god seduces the woman he has kidnapped by explicitly stating how much he likes raping her, and the woman flirtatiously responds by explicitly stating how much she likes being raped. Gods of Egypt fancies itself as a modern update on classic fantasy epics, but all that director Alex Proyas succeeds at is stitching together the worst parts of...


The-witch Speaking of Unholy Abominations…

Two options: 1 – People legitimately loved The Witch after it screened at Sundance and have hyped it because of a passion I simply can’t understand. 2 – Y’all are just straight-up messing with me.

For the second year in a row, I find myself gobsmacked, dumbfounded and stupefied by praise for a movie I not only did not enjoy but violently, profoundly hated. Last year, It Follows was beloved by reviewers and on...


Crimson peak  what is it  by icyirena-d8qbz4e Less Peak, More Valley

Crimson Peak is just fine. It’s an aggressively unremarkable film; decent enough to tide over Guillermo del Toro fans before the director inevitably spends the next few years in development hell trying to get his next project off the ground. It should also hold over Tom Hiddleston fans until the British actor returns as Loki in the next Thor movie. There’s quite a bit to like about Crimson Peak and maybe just a...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

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The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

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B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

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A+

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The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

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