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Line of Suck-session

The nicest thing that can be said about director Roland Emmerich’s White House Down is that it is the second best Die Hard rip-off set in the Presidential estate released in the last four months. Writer James Vanderbilt has piled words as the ancient Egyptians stacked bricks, building a great pyramid of stupidity to serve as a tomb for the dignity of all involved. The sparse few who have publicly admitted their...


Moral Compass-shun

You love Brit Marling.

Admittedly, you may not know it yet. You may not have had a chance to watch her acting A-bombs drop in smaller films like Sound of My Voice or Another Earth. It’s even more likely that you don’t know she co-wrote those films too, demonstrating an intellect that compliments innate talent. But there are only two choices: either you love Brit Marling or you will love Brit Marling. The proof...


Vacant Lots

Writer/director Sofia Coppola has made a movie that says nothing about people with nothing interesting to offer who steal from famous people who do nothing to be famous. And unless you’re a talk-show conspiracy theorist, it’s kind of hard to get too worked up about that much nothing. Playing like the slow, dull sister of Spring Breakers, The Bling Ring exchanges neon decadence and teen sinning for vacant crimes of...


Rich People Party Weird

Are you supposed to review the screenplay in a movie that uses Shakespeare’s original words? Can characters be formulaic and derivative if the writer is the dude who originally derived the formula? Executive decision: Let’s leave The Bard alone and talk about The Beard, which is a nickname no one has ever used for writer/director/lord-of-nerds Joss Whedon but it was a nice parallel and maybe it will stick.

The...


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Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D


GRADE

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

The Wolfpack

A fascinating documentary about a family locked away by their father who use film to escape.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

Dope

A truly original indie comedy thriller with brains and heart. What more do you need, people?

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Inside Out

Inside the head of an 11-year-old girl controlled by her emotions. It's not quite as terrifying as that sounds.

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B-

Tomorrowland

Because no one should see it, maybe it should be called Neverland.

GRADE
D

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