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Tryin’ to Get His Gru-ve On

Dress it up however you’d like: Despicable Me 2 is all about reformed supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) trying to get himself some. Even his three adopted girls are like “dude, you need to get yourself some.” And Gru is all “no, really girls, I’m good with not getting any.” And the girls are all “No, but seriously, dad: Whatever girl is closest in proximity to you. Try to smash that.” And so he does. The end.

...


Kemosloppy

Good news, Washington Redskins! For one glorious weekend in the summer of 2013, your unapologetically racist franchise is not the most grotesque pop culture representation of Native Americans! One can only imagine owner Dan Snyder pounding copious shots of “firewater” in celebration when he heard they cast Johnny Depp, a living pinnacle of paleness, as Tonto in The Lone Ranger.

Depp’s hypothetical heritage that...


Unorthodox Orthodox Wedding

Holy Hasidic hot potato, Bat-mensch! Writer/director Rama Burshtein’s Fill the Void is an emotionally potent tale about the collision of individualism and tradition, complicated by amorous affections and familial responsibilities. Tightly woven, with nary a wasted scene to be seen, Burshtein’s film never fetishizes the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community it explores. She refuses to treat the community as a microbe...


Line of Suck-session

The nicest thing that can be said about director Roland Emmerich’s White House Down is that it is the second best Die Hard rip-off set in the Presidential estate released in the last four months. Writer James Vanderbilt has piled words as the ancient Egyptians stacked bricks, building a great pyramid of stupidity to serve as a tomb for the dignity of all involved. The sparse few who have publicly admitted their...


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Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

On DVD

'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

GRADE
A-

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