Cotillard’s Coattails

Rust and Bone

Given that France is America’s go-to national punching bag for milquetoast xenophobic jokes, it is a testimony to her towering talent that Marion Cotillard is an Oscar-winning box office draw. Even reducing her physical presence by a third in her latest, Rust and Bone, does nothing to stunt her on-screen magnetism, or what the French call “Le, daaaamn!”

Writer/director Jacques Audiard and...

entered on 01/04/13 at 11:23 PM | read more »



Poor 2013

Listen, 2013, you look cool. You really do, with your new Superman movie and lack of Twilight. It’s just…well, your older sibling (2012) was super crazy awesome. It’s not easy being odd, especially with a number so feared it gets its own phobia named after it. But chin up, I’m sure it won’t be that bad…I mean, other than that sequel to Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups that’s coming. Here are some...

entered on 12/28/12 at 08:37 PM | read more »



Antebellum Antiheroism

Django Unchained

Oh, Quentin Tarantino, you’ve really done it this time, haven’t you? Nobody really cared when you fantasized that Hitler didn’t end his reign of terror with one last murder (his own), placing therapeutic cinematic release into the hands of machine-gun toting Jews blasting the bogeyman back to hell in Inglourious Basterds. But slavery? This ain’t Europe, QT; here in America, we like to judge...

entered on 12/27/12 at 05:52 PM | read more »



Sherlock Homeless

Jack Reacher

Jack Reacher, the hero of Jack Reacher (in case you were confused), is a drifter with nothing to lose. We know this because that is exactly what Tom Cruise says he is while yelling at a bad guy on the phone, Taken-style. Reacher is novelist Lee Child’s six-foot-five, fictional meal ticket beloved by millions who were outraged at the casting of the Lilliputian Cruise. Honestly, Cruise’s...

entered on 12/22/12 at 03:50 AM | read more »



2012, Will You Marry Me?

I want the 2012 year in film to have my babies. Heck, I’ll have its babies; it has been so durn good I’d totally go seahorse for it. Before I reduce a year that renewed my cinematic soul to a series of arbitrary numbers and rankings, a quick caveat: Because deadlines are soulless, and because major movie studios are the only things less concerned about Nebraska than presidential candidates, I...

entered on 12/21/12 at 06:33 PM | read more »



Dwarfing Expectations

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

We are masters of cynicism, proudly sporting a black-belt in backlash. If this generation of critics, pseudo-critics and armchair-article-writing audience members given the bully pulpit of social media has any legacy, it will be bitching for bitching’s sake.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is awesome by the literal definition of the word, in that its relentless action, staggeringly nuanced...

entered on 12/15/12 at 11:53 PM | read more »



Holli-dazed and Reviewed

There is a difference between a guide to holiday movies and holiday movie guide. The former is simply a tour of cloying Christmas-time flicks you know by heart and the latter is a battle plan, a plan of action, a roadmap to maximizing your entertainment during whatever vacation you have managed to squirrel away for these winter days. Let’s consider various scenarios to ensure you maximize your...

entered on 12/14/12 at 08:41 PM | read more »


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The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Trip to Italy

Another affable outing with two British comedians.

GRADE
B+


Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Still a fun place to visit, provided you're not a woman.

GRADE
C


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


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