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Oopsie Genius

 

No Big Bang

 

Heaven is Overrated

 

50/50 = Zero

 

Don’t Let Millennials Time Travel

 

News-sploitation

 

Confusing Hacktion

 

Yes, They Mean You

 

The Adventures of Super Vlad

 

Subversive Profundity

 

That’s Enough, James Franco

At one point, our collective return to Oz (not be confused with Return to Oz, sorry Faruza) was going to see director Sam Raimi deploy Robert Downey Jr as his titular wizard. The short list after Downey split must have consisted of just two names: James Franco and “a bag of dirt and sand.” “A bag of dirt and sand” must have had schedule conflicts.

Look, James Franco must be stopped. For too long we have been...


South of Justice

Four movies have been made, and 16 years have passed since three teenagers were imprisoned for a crime they very clearly didn’t commit. The “West Memphis Three,” the subject of copious celebrity crusading and a myriad of documentaries, have become reluctant mascots of a legal system gone awry. An implosion of justice in Arkansas may not seem like breaking news to a country long fatigued about moral problems in the...


For Me? Fine. So Dumb!

The theory holds that monkeys typing on a typewriter can eventually produce “Hamlet” by accident. Presumably, Jack the Giant Slayer is one of the monkeys’ lesser works. Hobbled together by five writers, one of whom is a previous Best Screenplay Oscar winner, this film is a series of studio executive notes stretched into two hours. Unimaginative, uninspired, undeserving of attention, this bloated monstrosity...


I Immediately Regret This Decision

It has been claimed by the defendant, Mr. Ryan Syrek, that the film Beautiful Creatures is neither “reductive Twilight barf” nor “derivative young-adult hormonal daydreaming” but that it is, instead, “charming and kinda fun.” The prosecution points to Mr. Syrek’s questionable celebration of such films as Miss Congeniality 2 and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters as evidence of his compromised mental state. Let the...


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Focus

A "who's conning who" movie that tries to con the audience.

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