“Glee” Clubbed

Pitch Perfect

At the point where the fist pump from The Breakfast Club becomes a plot point, shortly after a near-mute Asian girl who ate her own twin in the womb makes snow angels in another girl’s vomit, Pitch Perfect moves from “cult classic” to “recommended for any human who likes funny.” Toss in the nonchalant itty-bitty beauty of Anna Kendrick, and it doesn’t matter how many cliches you overstuff this...

entered on 09/29/12 at 03:49 AM | read more »



R2D2 and the AARP

Robot & Frank

First things first: although she’s only eight years younger than him, nobody will accept that Susan Sarandon would want to kiss Frank Langella on his mouth parts. That premise requires a bigger suspension of disbelief than the rest of Robot & Frank, which presumes the world now has robotic versions of Mr. Belvedere.

Writer Christopher D. Ford and director Jake Schreier have composed a quiet...

entered on 09/28/12 at 06:40 PM | read more »



Circular Logic

Looper

Writer/director Rian Johnson is fantastic at making pretty good movies. 2005’s Brick was a slyly conceived yarn that took 1940s private dick dialogue and plot and affixed it to a modern high-school setting, with middling effect.  2008’s The Brothers Bloom was a nearly great con man movie without a great con anywhere in it. And now comes Looper, Johnson’s first foray into sci-fi and bigger...

entered on 09/28/12 at 04:25 PM | read more »



Brand Xenu Man

The Master

Writer/director/demigod of modern American cinema Paul Thomas Anderson—or PTA as his peeps call him—has a filmography so stunning that merely making a very good movie means it’s his worst one yet. So, with a heavy heart comes the news that The Master isn’t outright the best film of the year; it’s only one of the best films of the year. Step up your game, PTA.

What keeps this...

entered on 09/23/12 at 06:09 AM | read more »



Too Many Ds

Dredd 3D

When you remake a movie that originally starred Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider, it’s not a challenge to clear the bar that was set. Limbo-ing beneath it, however, would require a shrink ray gun. So it is the faintest of all possible praises to say that Dredd 3D, the latest attempt to bring a gory U.K. comic book to the big screen, is the best movie to ever feature Judge Dredd. Of course,...

entered on 09/21/12 at 08:52 PM | read more »



Aye, Oui Oui!

2 Days in New York

Other than offering a great celebutant joke based on its titular similarity to an infamous sex tape, 2 Days in Paris was stunningly forgettable and a remarkably unlikely target for a sequel. This is to say, there’s no good reason why 2 Days in New York even exists, let alone anything that would explain how it came to be pretty fantastic.

As she was the first time around, Julie Delpy is the...

entered on 09/13/12 at 06:38 PM | read more »



Instagrim

Celeste and Jesse Forever

The degree to which you will enjoy Celeste and Jesse Forever solely depends on how ensorcelled you are by the luminous Rashida Jones. If you love her, this movie is a moderately effective slice-of-life rom-com-dram. If you think she’s just okay (or worse), you’re left to find enjoyment with Andy Samberg giving a fake handjob to a tube of lip Vaseline. 

Jones, who co-wrote with Will McCormack,...

entered on 09/07/12 at 05:37 PM | read more »


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The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Trip to Italy

Another affable outing with two British comedians.

GRADE
B+


Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Still a fun place to visit, provided you're not a woman.

GRADE
C


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


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