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Film

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

All My Friends Are Dead (Part One)

Disclaimer 1: This will be long. So long I am splitting it into two articles.

 

Disclaimer 2: I am not a troll. I am not a hipster. I am not someone who feels the need to either disagree with others to make myself feel joy nor someone who considers something with mass appeal inherently flawed. The lowest level of criticism is deciding not to like something everyone else does.

Disclaimer 3: Don’t read if...


Phillips: Screwed Driver

A normal response to having heard of the harrowing rescue of kidnapped cargo ship captain Richard Phillips was “Wow, I wonder how they got him out alive.” That said, nobody actually wanted every single detail. Captain Phillips covers every tiny aspect so thoroughly that it makes no sense why it feels so “Hollywood staged.” When you work with a story so publicized and recent that everyone knows the end, you can’t...


Grindhouse Ground Out

I have a friend who tells this one joke where it takes an eternity to get to the punch line. And that’s the real joke: that you donated so much of your time for such a small amount of pleasure. The psychology behind my friend’s “humor” has apparently become writer/director Robert Rodriguez’s mission statement. Machete was fairly amusing when it played in Grindhouse as a trailer for a film that didn’t actually...


She Needed Her Space

Gravity is really pretty, really smart, really thrilling, really well directed (way to go Alfonso Cuarón!), really well written (you too, Jonás Cuarón!) and really well acted (much love, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney). Go see it, you’ll love it, but let’s put a pin in all that for a minute, mmkay? Everyone is focusing on the kick-ass “real science” that informed Gravity or hotly Twitter-fighting about whether...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

Reader Recommends

The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

GRADE
B+

The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

On DVD

The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

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