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That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Cutting Room for April

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Movieha! Your Favorite Movie Podcast

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Burton Did a Bad, Bad Thing

Seriously? This is what it’s come to? Johnny Depp, that delightfully oddball talent who once worked with John Waters and Jim Jarmusch, has reached the point in his career where he’s in movies that climax with a witch barfing on him. For real?

After Alice in Wonderland saw director and apparently terrible friend, Tim Burton, reanimate the corpse of Depp using CGI to puppeteer his body into the most humiliating...


Yo Ho No

It’s hard not to mention Chicken Run without wanting to make a joke about Mel Gibson voicing a rooster. And while that may be the lasting thought from the 2000 movie, the fact remains that it was an affable claymation adventure from Aardman Animations that holds up well when compared with the relentless CGI dreck that has infested theaters over the last decade plus. So when The Pirates! Band of Misfits was...


Cutting Room for May 4

  • Slimmer though he may be, Jonah Hill has developed a new hunger…to be taken seriously. Rumor has it that he is in talks with Martin Scorsese to appear in The Wolf of Wall Street, which sadly is not a documentary about the jerks who trade futures being devoured by wildlife. The adaptation of a memoir of the same name is sure to do wonders for our image of brokers, as it details the life of a coked-out douchebag....


Like a Joss

This was going to be a rabid, frothing defense of the superhero genre, complete with impassioned pleas that appealed to cinematic intellectuals who are apt to dismiss such films. But Tom Hiddleston, who ironically plays the evil Loki in The Avengers, got there first…and he straight-up crushed it. Damn you, Loki! Does your villainy know no end?!

In his unreasonably eloquent opinion piece in The Guardian on April...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

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The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

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B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

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The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

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C

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