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Film

Beasts of Burden

 

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

Who Watches The Watch, Man?

Seeing as how it has an extraterrestrial plot, let’s describe The Watch using an astronomical metaphor. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are like comedic planets that orbit a central, burning sun…and that sun is made entirely of penis jokes. Someone spent $70 million to make a movie in which aliens only die if you shoot them in the pee-pee, in which an alien is killed by having his thingie...


Got Ham?

From Christian Bale’s bark to Hans Zimmer’s “gonna getcha” score, if director Christopher Nolan has driven one point home in his Bat-films, it has been this: “Take my films seriously, yo.” From meditations on the fine line between vengeance and justice to the moral ambiguity of using high-end technology “for the greater good,” this Bat-trilogy has cleverly and successfully fused “real world” stuff with “comic...


Taylor Can’t Kitsch a Break

Ask former “Friday Night Lights” actor Taylor Kitsch what he did this summer, and if he’s honest, he will tell you he set his career on fire. Yes, let us weep for Kitsch and his Greek God physique, overflowing bank accounts and unquestionable green light to mate with whomever he wishes! In the span of 2-plus months he has flopped (John Carter), floundered (Battleship) and flubbed (Savages) his way back to footnote...


Never Go Full Burton

It’s not writer/director Wes Anderson’s fault that since he burst on the scene with what is still his best film, Bottle Rocket, he has become a hipster demigod. Even when The Royal Tenenbaums hit, tattoo mustaches on fingers and scarves in the summer were but a glimmer in the eyes of youth who would go on to appropriate the word irony in a way that is ironically ironic. Throw a pebble at an Arcade Fire concert and...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

Reader Recommends

The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

GRADE
B+

The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

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