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A Siren’s Dirge

 

Pity the Privileged

 

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

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Unlucky Harms

 

Reel Meaning

 

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Someone Call Chris Hansen

 

Pinkie Gets Fingered

Although writer/director Rowan Joffe’s Brighton Rock, the second attempt at a big-screen adaptation of a 1938 Graham Greene novel, never introduces us to the parents of its sociopathic main character, it’s safe to assume they sucked at child rearing. Maybe genetics alone determined that their offspring would become a brain-bashing, knife-wielding savage, but naming him Pinkie Brown couldn’t have helped.

Brighton...


The Digital Diamond

“It's hard not to be romantic about baseball.” Or so drawls Billy Beane, the restless Oakland Athletics general manager depicted in “all caps” by Brad Pitt in Moneyball. It's a hard statement to deny, whether or not the phrase “America's pastime” even means anything in our always-connected, always-at-war modern age. That conflict—idyllic nostalgia versus cruel reality—is the secret core of this slightly...


The Bell of the Bawl

Bellflower wants badly to burn. It so yearns to catch fire that cinematographer Joel Hodge appears to have frequently smeared ash on the lens and scrambled the color palate, so that bright reds and oranges practically ignite the screen. Alas and alack, beyond a sizzlin’ visual look, Bellflower is less flame and more smoke … derivative, borderline misogynistic smoke. It feels dirty taking a first-time...


Purell Madness

Not to advocate violence, but anybody who cannot control their coughing while publicly watching Contagion, a movie about super sniffles that nearly destroy humanity, is either too sick to be around others or desperate for negative attention — that is to say, they’re either sick or “sick.” You know who I’m talking about, people.

With that off my chest, director Steven Soderbergh (Oceans 11, 12 and 13) begins his...


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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Ethan Hunt and company must save the world. Again. Actually, again, again, again. 

GRADE
A-

Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

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