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Film

Wedding Belles

 

Super Bad, Man

 

I’ll Have What He’s Having

 

Cutting Room for July

 

Not Even Friendzoned

 

More Free Dumb!

 

I Spy the Same Game

 

Stupid Core

 

Familiar Fish Tale

 

Wartcrap

 

But…Mud?

There are 161 reviews of Mud currently aggregated on Rotten Tomatoes. Of those, 98% are positive, meaning only 3 critics saw the same movie I did. Yes, writer/director Jeff Nichols made a purty movie with a strong cast and an interesting little allegorical fable. But do you know what the moral of that fable is? Love sucks because women are whores. I promise you, if you walk through the logic of what is shown, you...


Cutting Room for September 6

  • Don’t worry, I’m sure that if legendary author H.G. Wells was alive, he’d want nothing  more than to have the two dudes who did the werewolf porn show on Netflix to script yet another remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau. Last time out, the movie had Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer. I’m going to have to insist that weirdly shaped Fat Val Kilmer chubs his way into the Brando role while Ryan Gosling fills the former...


A Bit Plain, Jane

Since Stephanie “Twilight” Meyers is a producer on Austenland, the following question is fair game: Why are readers who fangirl out about Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” embraced or applauded while devotees of whatever-that-sparkly-vampire-dude’s-name-was are chided? Both of the male characters demonstrate icky behaviors that shouldn’t be desired in a mate, although admittedly the angst-ridden...


Yes Them Is

“What’s wrong with me?” My subconscious tries to smother this thought with a mental pillow, but the bastard won’t die.

Throughout the course of writer/director David Lowery’s Ain’t Them Bodies Saints—which most resembles a fictional ménage à trois between Beasts of the Southern Wild, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and your choice of Terrence Malick movie—I profusely self-loathed while...


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Star Trek Beyond

A truly Trek-esque installment of a delightfully rebooted franchise.

GRADE
A-

Tickled

A documentary about underground tickling fetishism that will make you squirm.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

Ghostbusters

A vibrant reboot that deserves a boatload of sequels.

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Wiener-Dog

A dark comedy that defies easy summation and must be experienced to be understood!

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Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

A vulgar comedy either ruined by the men or saved by the women, depending on how you see it.

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C

On DVD

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

A nonsensical, boring, ugly take on two of the world's most beloved superheroes.

GRADE
F

Love and Friendship

An Austen adaptation that's a snoozefest, aside from two stinky performances...

GRADE
D

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