I love nude yellow dudes not named John Boehner

Our new publishing system was hand crafted by the dark lord Satan. I had this brilliant rant wherein I broke down why I love the Oscars and why it's okay to watch the Oscars even though hipster bloggers hate the Oscars and try to show you how cool they are by creating the perfect "I could give a shit about the Oscars...here are my Oscar thoughts" post. I was hilarious and eloquent. You would have...

entered on 02/26/11 at 12:22 AM | read more »


Daily Dump for Wednesday (February 23)

In a mere 4 days, I'm live-tweeting the Oscars. I like saying that because it sounds like I'm going to be there. I won't be. I'll probably be pantsless on my couch, sipping inexpensive whiskey. This also means that 2 days from now I give you all the winners, along with my rants about who should win (cough, Inception, cough) but won't. Again, to all my friends on Facebook (which has my twitter...

entered on 02/23/11 at 11:00 PM | read more »


<p>Liam Neeson’s character solves a mid-life crisis and possibly his wife’s abduction in ‘Unknown’ </p>
German Engineering

Unknown

Forget Harley-Davidsons and 20-something girlfriends — the newest trend for male leads having their second mid-life crisis is action films. Two years ago, 50-something Liam Neeson starred in the surprisingly OK Taken, a high-body-count revenge flick that had him practicing his “combat roll and reload” sequences. His latest foray is Unknown, a good-enough-for-February film that doesn’t...

entered on 02/22/11 at 11:47 PM | read more »


Cutting Room for February 23

  • It’s official, Baz Luhrmann’s impending favor to high school English students (aka, a new remake of The Great Gatsby) will be shot in 3D. You know, because social allegories are more wicked awesome when things fly at your head. Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire and Carey Mulligan are rumored to star, so at least the faces flying at your face will be pretty faces.

  • GQ has more than just...

entered on 02/22/11 at 11:40 PM | read more »


<p>Javier Bardem walks the streets of a dismal-looking Barcelona in ‘Biutiful’ </p>
Death and Debt

Biutiful

Set in a dismal-looking Barcelona and following a character with amazingly bad luck, Biutiful slathers on the misery like few other movies do. But misery is nothing new for its director, Alejandro González Iñárritu, the man behind several other bleak pictures, including Amores Perros and 21 Grams. Biutiful is a big movie that's slightly overloaded with ideas and impressions but held together...

entered on 02/22/11 at 11:32 PM | read more »


Daily Dump for Tuesday (February 22)

Last week's unexpected absence was...unexpected... Riiiight. Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm not slightly off my game. I could go into the blah-blah-blah and rigmarole that has resulted in more disruptions in my publishing schedule in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years, but you come here to be entertained and not explained at. My question is this: Do you read this blog on the daily? Do...

entered on 02/22/11 at 11:21 PM | read more »


Monsters Vs. Illegal Aliens

DVD Discovery: Monsters

Don’t let the generic title of Monsters fool you — it’s really a pretty unique film. With an estimated budget of $800,000, which is the latte and donuts budget for most Hollywood movies, Monsters offers some surprisingly big-time special effects. But the real story behind the film’s creation is its super-cheap on-location guerilla shooting style, in which the film’s crew (one...

entered on 02/18/11 at 09:42 PM | read more »


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Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Yes, They Mean You

Thrill-seekers live for the rush that comes from defying death; adrenaline is the body’s chemical “thank you” for keeping it...

more »


Fury Is Missing Fast

Inside of writer/director David Ayer’s Fury is a tight, 90-minute, “we will hold this line” war movie populated with complex...

more »


The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

more »


Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

more »


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