Just Get it Over With

Just Go With It

Just Go With It is the latest Dennis Dugan–directed Adam Sandler vehicle. Standing at the ticket counter, the title reads more like a desperate plea for audience members. That probably isn't the case, since it was basically designed to make lots of money. But it’s such a benign and unnecessary movie that it's nice to imagine.

It takes a while to get to the meat of things, but the idea is...

entered on 02/16/11 at 09:49 PM | read more »



Less Than Some

Somewhere

Devoid of music or dialogue, the opening frames of Somewhere capture a sports car driving repeatedly in a circle for, like, a really long time before the car stops and an obvious douchebag exits the vehicle and stands there … for, like, a really long time. Had writer/director Sofia Coppola rolled credits immediately thereafter, the experience of Somewhere wouldn’t have changed an iota. The...

entered on 02/16/11 at 09:46 PM | read more »


Cutting Room for February 16

  • I don’t know a word in French that wasn’t in “Lady Marmalade,” so someone needs to tell me if “Le Figaro” translates to “Liars with Pants of Fire.” Why? Well, a French newspaper with that name is reporting that Marion Cotillard was just cast in The Dark Knight Rises. If the French aren’t lying to me again, I’m ecstatic. My only regret is that Anne Hathaway beat her to...

entered on 02/16/11 at 09:37 PM | read more »


Daily Dump for Monday (February 14)

That groundhog knows his shit, huh? In the midst of the coldest stretch of the year that fuzzy bastard said "it ends soon." Well tickle me with groundhog fur, we've been swimming around in melted snow rivers as the temps have soared and with it, my mood! Rejoice for the wonder of nature and its ability to lessen my grumpitude. Unless of course I'm watching the Grammys. Last night Facebook friends...

entered on 02/14/11 at 11:20 PM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer (February 11)

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

Finally! I made you wait for my junk too long this week, and I apologize. My junk is something that nobody should wait for, as a general rule. I've been trying to get people to look at my junk whenever they want for years now. The more the merrier, when it comes to my junk, I say! And yet, here I go, making you think my junk wasn't...

entered on 02/11/11 at 10:48 PM | read more »


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 64)

I suppose I should be thankful. Right now, everybody around me is either infected with some plague that is clearly a precursor to the zombie apocalypse or otherwise afflicted with mental ailments. Me? I feel sleepy pie and have a tiny throat tickle. So I SHOULD be satisfied with having superior hit points to everyone else, but I'm not. I want stuff. More stuff. Expensive stuff. Stuff you buy....

entered on 02/10/11 at 10:25 PM | read more »


Daily Dump for Wednesday (February 9)

Not to keep whining every opening paragraph, but I've been inexplicably exhausted lately. If it turns out that there really IS an invisible midget sitting on my chest, I'm going to be pissed. And slightly amused...but mostly pissed. I'm hoping this weekend will see me catch up on some sleep and get some much needed mental catch-up time, but it's probably going to devolve into some spontaneously...

entered on 02/09/11 at 10:56 PM | read more »


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Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A



War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

more »


Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

more »


Swimming in the Laika

From Ray Harryhausen’s Medusa to Henry Selick’s Jack Skellington, stop-motion animation is just frickin’ cool, yo. Maybe...

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The Dies That Bind

“Hilarious!” say the trailers! “Really funny!” says the poster. “You are all sick people!” says me.

Yes, in parts, The...

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