- Unless your name rhymes with Schmonald Schlump, you probably don’t scoff at things that are free. This goes doubly for those of you who are parents, as I’m told owning kiddies is expensive. Owning is the correct term to use, right? At any rate, Aksarben Cinema (aksarbencinema.com) has kicked off their Free Family Flicks series, which is pretty much what it sounds like. The theater will show free family-based movies on Wednesdays and Thursdays at 10 am throughout the summer in order to keep the kids cool and your wallet from hemorrhaging further. As I’ve said for years, movies are the world’s best babysitters: You never come home to find a film groping its boyfriend and faintly smelling of pot.
- The rumored short list for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie includes, Alfonso Cuaron (not going to happen), Sam Raimi (possible, but he is busy planning World of Warcraft) and Tim Burton among others. My secret hope: Burton agrees and then redeems himself by executing Captain Jack on screen, thus killing a franchise and proving he is not totally dead creatively.
- If you need any adorable, I’m afraid you can’t have any. Why? Because Save the Date is using it all up, as it will team up the flesh-and-blood-version-of-a-Disney-princess Alison Brie (“Community”) and Lizzy Caplan (“Party Down”), the she-hipster you’d endure a false perception of whimsy and irony in order to touch. Oh, and it’s another blorkin’ wedding movie, as one super-cutie will play someone getting married and the other will play someone who sees no use for marriage. It may break less ground than an anorexic starlet tripping in the dirt, but at least the leads are huggable.