You've got to be taught to be afraid Of people whose eyes are oddly made, And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade, You've got to be carefully taught.
When a liberal, white middle-class couple with young kids moved to Omaha from Chicago in the late 1950s they entered this city's weirdly segregated reality, not uncommon in almost every American city. It was not as public or overtly violent as the segregation in the former Confederate states of the South, but it was no less impactful on the African-American communities in Northern states. Homemaker Lois Mark Stalvey was a former advertising copywriter who once owned her own agency. Her husband Bennett Stalvey was a Fairmont Foods Mad Man.
The Omaha they settled into abided by a de facto segregation that saw blacks confined to two delineated areas. The largest sector, the Near North Side, was bounded by Cuming on the south and Ames on the north and 16th on the east and 40th on the west. Large public housing projects were home to thousands of families. In South Omaha blacks were concentrated in and around projects near the packing plants. Blacks here could generally enter any public place – a glaring exception being the outdoor pool at Peony Park until protestors forced ownership's hand – but were sometimes required to sit in separate sections or limited to drive-thru service and they most definitely faced closed housing opportunities and discriminatory hiring practices.
This now deceased couple encountered a country club racist culture that upheld a system designed to keep whites and blacks apart. Neither was good at taking things lying down or letting injustices pass unnoticed. But she was the more assertive and opinionated of the two. Indeed, son Ben Stalvey recalls her as "a force of nature" who "rarely takes no for an answer."
"She was stubborn to accept the accepted norm in those days and that piqued her curiosity and she took it from there," he says. "She had grown up in her own little bubble (in Milwaukee) and I think when she discovered racial prejudice and injustice her attitude was more like, What do you mean I can't do that or what do you mean I have to think that way? It was more just a matter of, "Hell, no."
Though only in Omaha a few years, Stalvey made her mark on the struggle for equality then raging in the civil rights movement.
The well-intentioned wife and mother entered the fray naive about her own white privilege and prejudice and the lengths to which the establishment would go to oppose desegregation and parity. Her headstrong efforts to do the right thing led to rude awakenings and harsh consequences. Intolerance, she learned here and in Philadelphia, where the Stalveys moved after her husband lost his job due to her activism, is insidious. All of which she wrote about in her much discussed 1970 book, The Education of a WASP.
The title refers to the self-discovery journey she made going from ignorance to enlightenment. Blacks who befriended her in Omaha and in Philadelphia schooled her on the discrimination they faced and on what was realistic for changing the status quo.
Among her primary instructors was the late black civic leader and noted physician Dr. Claude Organ and his wife Elizabeth "Betty" Organ and a young Ernie Chambers before his state senator career. In WASP Stalvey only sparingly used actual names. The Organs became the Bensons and Chambers became Marcus Garvey Moses.
A Marshall, Texas native and graduate of Xavier University in New Orleans, Claude Organ was accepted by the University of Texas Medical School but refused admittance when officials discovered he was black. The state of Texas paid the tuition difference between UT and any school a denied black attended. Organ ended up at Creighton University and the state of Texas paid the extra $2,000 to $3,000 a year the private Jesuit school cost, recalls Betty Organ.
His civil rights work here began with the interracial social action group the De Porres Club led by Father John Markoe. Organ became Urban League of Nebraska president and later advised the Citizens Coordinating Committee for Civil Liberties (4CL). He was on the Catholic Interracial Council board and Mayor's Biracial Committee.
"He built a lot of bridges," son Paul Organ says.
Betty Organ got involved, too, supporting "any group that had something to do with making Omaha a better place to live," she says.
So when Stalvey was introduced to the Organs by a black friend and determined to made them her guides in navigating the troubled racial waters, she couldn't have found a better pair.
Stalvey met Chambers through Claude Organ.
Chambers says "This woman detected I was somebody who might have some things to offer that would help give her what she called her education. And when I became convinced she was genuine I was very open with her in terms of what I would talk to her about."
Though it may not seem so now, Chambers says the book's title was provocative for the time. WASP stands for White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, which defined Stalvey’s background, but racism was rampant across ethnic and religious lines in White America.
"WASP was a term that not everybody to whom it applied embraced. So by using that title she caught people's attention."
But he admired the "substance" behind the sensation. He admired, too, that the vitally curious Stalvey asked lots of questions.
"I never got the impression as used to happen when I was interviewed by white people that she was 'studying' me like a scientist in a lab would study insects. She genuinely was trying to make herself a better person and I think she succeeded."
This ever apt pupil threw herself into The Cause. Her son Noah Stalvey says, "I can remember meetings at the house. She had a lot of the movers and shakers of the day meeting there. Her goal was to raise us in an environment of tolerance."
"At times it was lively," says Ben Stalvey. "There wasn't much disagreement. We knew what was going on, we heard about things. We met a lot of people and we'd play with their kids."
All par for the course at the family home in Omaha's Rockbrook neighborhood. "It wasn't until well into my teen years I realized my parents were fighting the battle," Noah says. "I just thought that's what all parents do."
His mother headed the progressive Omaha Panel for American Women that advocated racial-religious understanding. The diverse panelists were all moms and the Organ and Stalvey kids sometimes accompanied their mothers to these community forums. Paul Organ believes the panelists wielded their greatest influence at home.
"On the surface all the men in the business community were against it.
Behind the scenes women were having these luncheons and meetings and I think in many homes around Omaha attitudes were changed over dinner after women came back from these events and shared the issues with their husbands. To me it was very interesting the women and the moms kind of bonded together because they all realized how it was affecting their children."
Betty Organ agrees. "I don't think the men were really impressed with what we were doing until they found out its repercussions concerning their children and the attitudes their children developed as they grew."
Stalvey's efforts were not only public but private. She personally tried opening doors for the aspirational Organs and their seven children to integrate her white bread suburban neighborhood. She felt the northeast Omaha bungalow the Organs occupied inadequate for a family of nine and certainly not befitting the family of a surgeon.
Racial segregation denied the successful professional and Creighton University instructor the opportunity for living anywhere outside what was widely accepted as Black Omaha – the area in North Omaha defined by realtors and other interests as the Near North Side ghetto.
"She had seen us when we lived in that small house on Paxton Boulevard," Betty Organ says. "She had thought that was appalling that we should be living that many people in a small house like that."
Despite the initial reluctance of the Organs, Stalvey’s efforts to find them a home in her neighborhood put her self-educating journey on a collision course with Omaha’s segregation and is central to the books’s storyline. Organ appreciated Stalvey going out on a limb.
Stalvey and others were also behind efforts to open doors for black educators at white schools, for employers to practice fair hiring and for realtors to abide by open housing laws. Stalvey found like-minded advocates in social worker-early childhood development champion Evie Zysman and the late social cause maven Susie Buffett. They were intent on getting the Organs accepted into mainstream circles.
"We were entertained by Lois' friends and the Zysmans and these others that were around. We went to a lot of places that we would not have ordinarily gone because these people were determined they were going to get us into something," Betty Organ says. "It was very revealing and heartwarming that she wanted to do something. She wanted to change things and it did happen."
Only the change happened either more gradually than Stalvey wanted or in ways she didn't expect.
Despite her liberal leanings Claude Organ remained wary of Stalvey.
"He felt she was as committed as she could be," his widow says, "but he just didn't think she knew what the implications of her involvement would be. He wasn't exactly sure about how sincere Lois was. He thought she was trying to find her way and I think she more or less did find her way. It was a very difficult time for all of us, that's all I can say."
Ernie Chambers says Stalvey's willingness to examine and question things most white Americans accepted or avoided was rare.
"At the time she wrote this book it was not a popular thing. There were not a lot of white people willing to step forward, identify themselves and not come with the traditional either very paternalistic my-best-friend-is-a-Negro type of thing or out-and-out racist attitude."
The two forged a deep connection borne of mutual respect.
"She was surprised I knew what I knew, had read as widely as I had, and as we talked she realized it was not just a book kind of knowledge. In Omaha for a black man to stand up was considered remarkable.
"We exchanged a large number of letters about all kinds of issues."
Chambers still fights the good fight here. Though he and Claude Organ had different approaches, they became close allies.
Betty Organ says "nobody else was like" Chambers back then. "He was really a moving power to get people to do things they didn't want to do. My husband used to go to him as a barber and then they got to be very good friends. Ernie really worked with my husband and anything he wanted to accomplish he was ready to be there at bat for him. He was wonderful to us."
Stalvey's attempts to infiltrate the Organs into Rockbrook were rebuffed by realtors and residents – exactly what Claude Organ warned would happen. He also warned her family might face reprisals.
Betty Organ says, "My husband told her, 'You know this can have great repercussions because they don't want us and you can be sure that because they don't want us they're going to red line us wherever we go in Omaha trying to get a place that they know of.'"
Bennett Stalvey was demoted by Fairmont, who disliked his wife's activities, and sent to a dead-end job in Philadelphia. The Organs regretted it came to that.
"It was not exactly the thing we wanted to happen with Ben," Betty Organ says. "That was just the most ugly, un-Godly, un-Christian thing anybody could have done."
While that drama played out, Claude Organ secretly bought property and secured a loan through white doctor friends so he could build a home where he wanted without interference. The family broke ground on their home on Good Friday in 1964. The kids started school that fall at St. Philip Neri and the brick house was completed that same fall.
"We had the house built before they (opponents) knew it," Betty Organ says.
Their spacious new home was in Florence, where blacks were scarce. Sure enough, they encountered push-back. A hate crime occurred one evening when Betty was home alone with the kids.
"Somebody came knocking on my door. This man was frantically saying, 'Lady, lady, you know your house is one fire?' and I opened the door and I said, 'What?' and he went, 'Look,' and pointed to something burning near the house. I looked out there, and it was a cross burning right in front of the house next to the garage. When the man saw what it was, too, he said, 'Oh, lady, I'm so sorry.' It later turned out somebody had too much to drink at a bar called the Alpine Inn about a mile down the road from us and did this thing.
"I just couldn't believe it. It left a scorch there on the front of the house."
Paul Organ was 9 or 10 then.
"I have memories of a fire and the fire truck coming up," he says. "I remember something burning on the yard and my mom being upset. I remember when my dad got home from the hospital he was very upset but it wasn't until years later I came to appreciate how serious it was. That was probably the most dramatic, powerful incident."
But not the last.
As the only black family in St. Philip Neri Catholic parish the Organs seriously tested boundaries.
"Some of the kids there were very ugly at first," Betty Organ recalls. "They bullied our kids. It was a real tough time for all of us because they just didn't want to accept the fact we were doing this Catholic thing."
You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.
Daughter Sandra Organ says, "There were some tensions there. Dad would talk about how to handle these kind of things and to take the high road. But if they used the 'n' word we had an opportunity to retaliate because you defend your honor as a black person.
"An older neighbor man didn't particularly like black people. But his grandson was thrilled to have these five boys to play with, so he became like an extra person in the family. The boy's family was very kind to us and they kind of brought the grandfather around."
Betty Organ says things improved with parishioners, too. "It got to the point where they got to know the family and they got to know us and they kind of came around after a few years."
Sandra says when her brother David suffered severe burns in an accident and sat-out school "the neighborhood really rallied around my mom and provided help for her and tutoring for David."
Stalvey came from Philadelphia to visit the Organs at their new home.
"When she saw the house we built she was just thrilled to death to see it," Betty Organ says.
In Philadelphia the Stalveys lived in the racially mixed West Mount Airy neighborhood and enrolled their kids in predominantly African-American inner city public schools.
Ben Stalvey says, "I think it was a conscious effort on my parents part to expose us to multiple ways of living."
His mother began writing pieces for the Philadelphia Bulletin that she expanded into WASP.
"Mom always had her writing time," Ben Stalvey notes. "She had her library and that was her writing room and when she in the writing room we were not to disturb her and so yes I remember her spending hours and hours in there. She'd always come out at the end of the school day to greet us and often times she'd go back in there until dinner."
In the wake of WASP she became a prominent face and voice of white guilt – interviewed by national news outlets, appearing on national talk shows and doing signings and readings. Meanwhile, her husband played a key role developing and implementing affirmative action plans.
Noah Stalvey says any negative feedback he felt from his parents' activism was confined to name-calling.
"I can remember vaguely being called an 'n' lover and that was mostly in grade school. My mother would be on TV or something and one of the kids who didn't feel the way we did – their parents probably used the word – used it on us at school."
He says the work his parents did came into focus after reading WASP.
"I first read it when I was in early high school. It kind of put together pieces for me. I began to understand what they were doing and why they were doing it and it made total sense to me. You know, why wouldn't you fight for people who were being mistreated. Why wouldn't you go out of your way to try and rectify a wrong? It just made sense they were doing what they could to fix problems prevalent in society."
Betty Organ thought WASP did a "pretty good" job laying out "what it was all about" and was relieved their real identities were not used.
"That was probably a good thing at the time because my husband didn't want our names involved as the persons who educated the WASP."
After all, she says, he had a career and family to think about. Dr. Claude Organ went on to chair Creighton’s surgery department by 1971, becoming the first African-American to do so at a predominately white medical school. He developed the school’s surgical residency program and later took positions at the University of Oklahoma and University of California–Davis, where he also served as the first African-American editor of Archives of Surgery, the largest surgical journal in the English-speaking world.
Sandra Organ says there was some queasiness about how Stalvey "tried to stand in our shoes because you can never really know what that's like." However, she adds, "At least she was pricking people's awareness and that was a wise thing."
Paul Organ appreciates how "brutally honest" Stalvey was about her own naivety and how embarrassed she was in numerous situations." He says, "I think at the time that's probably why the book had such an effect because Lois was very self-revealing."
Stalvey followed WASP with the book Getting Ready, which chronicled her family's experiences with urban black education inequities.
At the end of WASP she expresses both hope that progress is possible – she saw landmark civil rights legislation enacted – and despair over the slow pace of change. She implied the only real change happens in people's hearts and minds, one person at a time. She equated the racial divide in America to walls whose millions of stones must be removed one by one. And she stated unequivocally that America would never realize its potential or promise until there was racial harmony.
Forty-five years since WASP came out Omaha no longer has an apparatus to restrict minorities in housing, education, employment and recreation – just hardened hearts and minds. Today, blacks live, work, attend school and play where they desire. Yet geographic-economic segregation persists and there are disproportionate numbers living in poverty. lacking upwardly mobile job skills, not finishing school, heading single-parent homes and having criminal histories in a justice system that effectively mass incarcerates black males. Many blacks have been denied the real estate boom that’s come to define wealth for most of white America. Thus, some of the same conditions Stalvey described still exist and similar efforts to promote equality continue.
Stalvey went on to teach writing and diversity before passing away in 2004. She remained a staunch advocate of multiculturalism. When WASP was reissued in 1989 her new foreword expressed regret that racism was still prevalent. And just as she concluded her book the first time, she repeated the need for our individual and collective education to continue and her indebtedness to those who educated her.
Noah Stalvey says her enduring legacy may not be so much what she wrote but what she taught her children and how its been passed down.
"It does have a ripple effect and we now carry this message to our kids and our kids are raised to believe there is no difference regardless of sexual preference or heritage or skin color."
Ben Stalvey says his mother firmly believed children are not born with prejudice and intolerance but learn these things.
"There's a song my mother used to quote which I still like that's about intolerance – 'You've Got to be Carefully Taught' – from the musical South Pacific.
"The way we were raised we were purposely not taught," Ben Stalvey says. "I wish my mother was still around to see my own grandchildren. My daughter has two kids and her partner is half African-American and half Filipino. I think back to the very end of WASP where she talks about her hopes and dreams for America of everyone being a blended heritage and that has actually come to pass in my grandchildren."
You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!