|
· Cover
· News
· Music
· Lazy I
· Film
· Theater
· Art
· Sports
· Lifestyle
· Dish
· Books
· Culture
· 8 Days
· Heartland Healing
· Hoodoo Blues
· MoJoPo
· News of the Weird
· Television
· Letters
|
|
|
Home - News of the Weird
|
Self Help - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
While Iran’s leaders saber-rattle and quote the Quran, the country’s multitudes of young adults are embracing New Age self-help, as exemplified by the best-selling books and sold-out seminars of motivational guru Alireza Azmandian, according to a June Wall Street Journal dispatch from Tehran. Though young adults in Turkey and Egypt have stepped up their religious fervor, that is not so in Iran. Said a 25-year-old aerospace engineer, “Religion doesn’t offer me answers anymore,” but “(Azmandian’s) seminar changed my life.” The Oprah Winfrey-touted book The Secret is in its tenth printing in Farsi, yoga and meditation are big and advertising abounds on the virtues of feng shui and financial management.
The Continuing Crisis
Randall Popkes, 41, and his son Joshua Williams, 22, were arrested in West Des Moines, Iowa, in May and charged with an attempted safecracking at the Des Moines Golf and Country Club. A security officer had noted their license plate as they sped away after a frustrating session in which they had cut into the safe but could not open it. In fact, they had left behind a note for management, according to the Des Moines Register, “[Expletive] you and your safe.”
|
|
|
|
Oopsie Nuke - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
After languishing for two years in the Irish legislature, the Nuclear Test Ban Bill of 2006 has recently been rethought and refurbished, according to a June report in the Irish Independent. Originally, the bill codified the U.N. Test Ban Treaty, adding some provisions specific to Ireland. Among those additions was the punishment for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon in Ireland: up to 12 months in jail and/or a fine of up to 5,000 euros (then, around $6,500), along with language that might even allow a person found guilty to apply for first-offense probation. The proposed punishment this time is expected to be considerably harsher.
Can’t Possibly Be True
In the 1920s, when inmate “chain gangs” were in their heyday, Alabama sheriffs were allotted a prison meal budget of $1.75 per prisoner per day, with thrifty sheriffs allowed to pocket any excess for themselves. According to a May Associated Press investigation, the policy, and the amount, are unchanged to this day in 55 of the state’s 67 counties, and also unchanged is the fact that sheriffs have cut the menus so cleverly or drastically that some sheriffs still make money on the deal. (The per-meal fee under the National School Lunch program for low-income students is $2.47.)
|
|
|
|
Stuck Himself - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators should employ during competitions (translated as “Olympics! Add fuel!” with two claps and then both thumbs up, then “China! Add fuel!” with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June Reuters dispatch). (“Add fuel” is apparently a traditional motivational chant in China.) Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors. |
|
|
|
Psyche, Grandma! - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Wander Lust
Faced with its Alzheimer’s residents’ tendency to wander away, the Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf, Germany, came up with a novel approach: a fake bus stop (an exact replica of a real one) out front. Straying residents might be attracted to the familiar colors and design of the kiosk (because long-term memory is typically still robust) and wait there for a bus instead of trying to “go home” on foot. But short-term, the resident is typically unaware of how long he has been waiting and will remain until a Centre employee sees him and can guide him back into the home (which often is easy because the resident has by then forgotten why he is sitting there, according to a June dispatch from Berlin in London’s Daily Telegraph).
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Wander Lust
Faced with its Alzheimer’s residents’ tendency to wander away, the Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf, Germany, came up with a novel approach: a fake bus stop (an exact replica of a real one) out front. Straying residents might be attracted to the familiar colors and design of the kiosk (because long-term memory is typically still robust) and wait there for a bus instead of trying to “go home” on foot. But short-term, the resident is typically unaware of how long he has been waiting and will remain until a Centre employee sees him and can guide him back into the home (which often is easy because the resident has by then forgotten why he is sitting there, according to a June dispatch from Berlin in London’s Daily Telegraph). |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Striptease Degree
Two men did not graduate from Duke University in May because they were two of the three lacrosse players accused of rape in March 2006 and were forced to suspend their academic pursuits in order to defend themselves against the charges that were later dismissed. Another ‘08 student did graduate in May in Durham, from North Carolina Central University: Crystal Mangum, the drug-abusing, part-time stripper who had relentlessly accused the three of raping her but whose story was later found to be completely unsupported. Mangum’s degree is in police psychology.
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Poop Wars
Rising prices of synthetic fertilizers and organic foods have intensified the collection of bird droppings on 20 climatically ideal islands off the coast of Peru where 12-inch-thick seabird guano coats the land. In the 19th century, China fought with Peru on the high seas for the right to mine the guano, which at that time was 150 feet high in places. Said an official of the Peruvian company that controls guano production (to a New York Times reporter in May), “Before there was oil, there was guano, so of course we fought wars over it.” The exceptionally dry climate means that 12,000 to 15,000 tons of guano are available yearly.
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Oceanfront Property
The U.S. military operates a beachfront vacation site for its personnel worldwide and their families at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility, with $42-a-night air-conditioned suites, surfing, boat rides, golf course, bowling alley and even a gift shop. One T-shirt for sale reads, “The Taliban Towers at Guantanamo Bay, the Caribbean’s Newest 5-star Resort.” News of the facility was not widely reported until a British lawyer who represents 28 of the nearly 300 detainees housed there described it to London’s Daily Mail in May. |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Botony Autonomy
A provision in Switzerland’s constitution recognizes the “dignity” of “animals, plants and other organisms,” and a federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Gene Technology declared in an April report that vegetation has “inherent worth” and that humans cannot exercise “absolute ownership” over it but must treat it morally, measured case-by-case. For example, the committee said a farmer’s mowing his field is acceptable, but not the arbitrary severing of a wildflower’s bloom. The committee would permit genetic engineering of flora, since plants would still retain the “autonomy” to reproduce on their own.
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Fondling Family
Freddie Johnson, 49, was arrested in New York City in April for the 53rd time after he allegedly once again rubbed up against women on crowded trains. He is such a menace (a 57-page rap sheet) that a special NYPD detail follows him around, certain that he will re-offend. Shortly after the arrest, the New York Daily News reported that his twin brother, Teddy, is now serving an eight-year sentence in upstate New York for a series of subway gropings of his own. A retired police officer told the Daily News that he saw the brothers almost every day and could tell them apart only by their clothes. Freddie, he said, was “blue collar” while Teddy conducted his fondlings “always dressed in a blazer and slacks.” |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Human Cockfighting
Almost-anything-goes “ultimate fighting,” also known as “human cockfighting,” is a major “sport,” mostly in Southern and Western states, but only in Missouri are kids as young as 6 permitted on the mats, according to a March Associated Press dispatch from Carthage, Mo. Members of the Garage Boys Fight Crew, ages up to 14, including one girl, regularly square off with only a few concessions in rules and protective gear from their adult counterparts. Parents seem to regard the sport as casually as they regard Little League or soccer, and sportsmanship is in evidence, as kids are still best friends, pummeling each other inside the cage but then heading off afterward to play video games. |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Extreme Cosmetics
“Many of my young patients think about getting plastic surgery the way they’d think about getting their hair done,” explained Dr. David Alessi of Beverly Hills, Calif., who is still amazed at women’s willingness to endure “extreme” cosmetic alterations. “Vaginal rejuvenation” (labiaplasty) might be the most sensational procedure, but surgeons also do “forehead implants” and ankle and shoulder liposuction, break and reset jaws to tweak smiles, and lengthen or shorten toes (for “toe cleavage” with certain shoes). Alessi told a Glamour magazine writer for an April story that one 25-year-old recently asked him to “remove” her navel (whereas most umbilicoplasty patients merely request reshaping). Said a bemused colleague, “There’s some consensus about what makes for an attractive … face, but we have no definition of the ideal navel.”
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Asspendectomy
Update: Experimental “natural orifice” surgery might be health care’s next big thing following its U.S. introduction last year at Columbia University (as reported also in News of the Weird), where doctors removed a woman’s diseased gall bladder not by an abdominal incision but through her vagina. In March, doctors at UC-San Diego Medical Center removed a woman’s appendix through her vagina, and a man’s through his mouth. (A microscopic camera must be inserted through the abdomen, however, to guide the surgeons.) Pain and healing time are usually less than half that of ordinary surgery, but the risk of internal infection is greater. The next step, doctors say, will be removing kidneys through the anus. |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Death Row Woes
Lawyer confidentiality rules kept one man improperly on death row for 10 years and a probably innocent man in prison for 26, according to news that surfaced in January (in Virginia) and March (in Illinois). Daryl Atkins (sentenced to death in 1997) was the victim of probable prosecutorial misconduct, according to his co-defendant’s lawyer, Leslie Smith, who said he witnessed the misconduct but could not report it because a lesser sentence for Atkins would have exposed his own client to greater punishment. In Illinois, Alton Logan was convicted of a murder during a 1982 robbery. However, shortly afterward, Andrew Wilson admitted to his lawyers that he was the murderer, but bar association rules prohibited them from revealing that. When Wilson died in 2007, the lawyers went public, and Logan’s case has been re-opened.
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
China’s Image Police
China’s societal self-improvement in preparation for the 2008 Olympics continues. The Beijing Tourism Bureau ordered hotels to re-translate English signs, hoping to avoid such notorious past gaffes as “Racist Park,” which is now “Park of Ethnic Minorities,” and a cafe’s attempt to salute Western visitors with “Welcome, big nose friends.” And the Beijing Olympics Committee has been training hostesses for months to stand in military-like precision, straight enough to hold a sheet of paper between their knees, and to smile continuously, showing “six to eight teeth” (even if placing a chopstick in the mouth sideways is necessary for practice). There are height and weight requirements for the hostesses, and each must have an upper- to lower-body ratio of no more than 11-to-13, to eliminate, according to local newspapers, “big bottoms.” |
|
|
|
New of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Crappy Theater
Irish director-playwright Paul Walker’s production of Ladies & Gents opened for a March run in New York City 29 blocks north of Broadway in a public restroom. According to an Associated Press report, the entire play takes place among the porcelain in a bathroom in Central Park, portraying “the seedy underside of 1950s Dublin,” with the audience of 25 standing beside rows of stalls, near “spiders, foul odors and puddles of questionable origin.” Walker proudly admits that he wanted to take the audience “out of their comfort zone” to create “a different energy.” Actor John O’Callaghan recalled that rehearsals were especially difficult: “One man actually came in and had a pee right in front of us.” |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Meat Madness
While March Madness dominates intercollegiate athletics, another group of collegians works out amidst coaches’ whistles, endures bloody, 12-hour practices, and cheers on teammates preparing for the national championship in meat-judging, in which about 40 colleges compete, according to a March Wall Street Journal report. Coaches at powerhouses like Colorado State and South Dakota State say skills such as evaluating T-bone cutting and spotting whether a pig has too much back fat come with determination and concentration (and, of course, practice, as one coach said it all comes down to time spent in the meat locker, at 38 degrees [Fahrenheit]). (And pro scouts are watching from the stands, representatives of U.S. meat companies, seeking talent.) |
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Muskrat Congeniality
Dakota Abbott, 16, edged Samantha Phillips, 17, to become Miss Outdoors 2008 in February in Maryland’s Eastern Shore region’s annual beauty-contest-and-muskrat-skinning festival. The two were the only beauty contestants (out of eight) who entered both competitions. Abbott won her skinning division, but while she sang a song for the judges, Phillips won the talent trophy by skinning a muskrat on stage. “I’ll be honest,” she said to a Washington Post reporter. “I can’t sing. I can’t dance, and I don’t play any musical instruments.” But she took her 4-inch blade, sticking it just above the tail, and sliced. “You want to take your knuckles and separate the meat from the hide, just like this,” she told the judges, with her hand inside the muskrat (as one of the judges recoiled in shock).
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Brand Freaks
India’s middle class is humming with “brand freaks” obsessed with luxury labels like Prada and Louis Vuitton, according to a February Washington Post dispatch, even though more than half the country lives in “abject poverty” (and even though Gandhi got along fine with just a loincloth!). Said one super-consumer, “I’ll spend my whole salary for a really swank brand and eat [steamed rice cakes] for the rest of the month.” According to the newly launched India edition of Vogue, the country’s “Me Culture” has taken over, where, on an Ahmadabad road underneath towering billboards for Tag Heuer and Mont Blanc pens, barefoot kids with begging bowls tap on car windows. Though animal rights activists estimate that the country has more uncared-for dogs on the streets than any other in the world, Gucci dog bowls are for sale in New Delhi.
|
|
|
|
News of the Weird - |
by Chuck Shepherd
Illustrations by Tom Briscoe
Biting Analysis
In February, a Mississippi judge released two convicted rapists of children, who had each been in prison for more than 12 years, based on DNA. The men had been convicted primarily by the “bite mark” analysis of since-discredited dentist Dr. Michael West, who used iridescent lights and yellow goggles to demonstrate that scratches on the victims were bites by the two men. Subsequent independent analysis identified the scratches as scratches, perhaps even made by West himself, according to a director of the Innocence Project. West is a favorite colleague of medical examiner Steven Hayne, who seems always to find evidence of guilt of anyone charged by district attorney Forrest Allgood, according to a Reason magazine investigation. West’s bite “technology,” in particular, has been widely ridiculed by forensic professionals. |
|
|
<< Previous 1 2 3 4 Next >>
|
|
|
