In the Gloria Gaynor anthem "I Will Survive" a woman declares her personal autonomy. Not needing to find validation in another is a liberating thing worth celebrating in song.
Life imitates art whenever a poor single mother breaks free of the shackles of fear, self-doubt and shame that hold her back, say women who've been there and now help others out of that trap.
Ericka Guinan was a single mom trapped in a cycle of despair before finding the courage to seek guidance from women who'd been in her shoes. Today, she's the self-sufficiency programs facilitator at Heart Ministry Center, 2222 Binney St., where she helps women like Aja Alfaro, a young single mom of two, find the confidence to move toward their dreams.
Since graduating from the center's Pathway program Aja's turned her life around. She works as a SNAP outreach specialist at Heart Ministry, assisting women apply for food stamps she needs herself. Guinan's been there, too. Each woman's gone through the wringer of bad relationships, no work, low pay, food and housing insecurity, unpaid bills, creditors and feeling like there's no getting out from under.
The stress facing many single moms is the subject of the HBO documentary Paycheck to Paycheck showing at Film Streams Oct. 28 at 7 p.m. The film, executive produced by Maria Shriver, follows a year in the life of Katrina Gilbert, a Chattanooga, Tenn. certified nursing assistant and mother of three. Gilbert's trouble making ends meet and finding financial stability are emblematic of many women.
The free screening is a collaboration between Film Streams, the public advocacy group Coalition for a Strong Nebraska and Women's Fund of Omaha, a nonprofit focused on improving the lives of local women.
Guinan will be part of a post-show panel discussing issues raised in the film. Joining her will be Women's Fund executive director Michelle Zych, Coalition director Tiffany Seibert Joekel and Neb. State Sen. Tanya Cook. Alfaro will be there, too.
Joekel says barriers to single parents, especially women, include difficulties affording high-quality child care, unfriendly workplace policies, inability to access high-quality, affordable health care and limited educational opportunities.
Zych says Women's Fund studies find stark economic disparities among Omaha women, particularly single mothers of color.
"Katrina Gilbert’s story is just one example of how women often live paycheck to paycheck. We expect the audience to learn more about poverty in Omaha and what efforts are being made community and statewide to ease this burden for families," Zych says.
"It's not easy living paycheck to paycheck," says Alfaro, who knows from first-hand experience. "It's hard, it's a struggle."
Alfaro's made progress toward independence.
"It's still hard but I'm getting there. Things started changing a lot just this year, when I finally got my own place for the very first time at the end of January."
Alfaro's steady income though sometimes makes her ineligible for certain benefits even though her earnings are barely above poverty level and she hasn't reached self-sufficiency. It's called the Cliff Effect and it plays havoc with the working poor. Tanya Cook introduced a bill in the Nebraska Legislature that would help some working parents continue qualifying for child care subsidies well beyond current limits.
Despite roadblocks to aid, Alfaro's hopeful for the first time about the future. She plans resuming nursing studies.
"There is hope if people can get connected to the right resources. Once people have hope they can do things they never thought they could," says Julie Kalkowski, co-director of the Financial Success Program through Creighton University's Financial Hope Collaborative. The program works with single mothers for a year to undo old habits.. "We ask our clients to do small, actionable steps – little changes that add up to real money. Once people start to feel like they are moving forward they are willing to do things they have been too intimidated or overwhelmed to do, like calling creditors. We also offer debt consolidation loans."
Guinan agrees hope is essential before women buy into changing their lives. At Heart Ministry she says "we let each women define her own pathway to success," adding, "We ask what are your dreams, where do you want your life to be and then we try to figure out what we can do to help her get on the path to that. We have a therapist that meets with them once a week. We have a lot of resources and relationships within the community they can access. "
She says setting boundaries, getting an education, budgeting, building healthy relationships and having a positive support network is key.
It's all about removing obstacles and Guinan says "a lot of the obstacles are in our head because we have a big fear of doing something new or of failure or of success. We a lot of times don't believe in ourselves."
She says overcoming negative self-talk and taking responsibility for one's life is necessary for success. Guinan lived it all out herself – the self-pity, the denial, the hitting bottom before asking for help.
"I was lucky enough to meet several strong, healthy women just far enough ahead of me to relate to my struggles yet offer solid solutions and advice. I think I trusted them because they were sharing their own person struggles with me. I related and saw myself in their stories yet they obviously had overcome so much."
Aja Alfaro's found a similar sisterhood at Heart Ministry. Its self-sufficiency programs help women navigate out of tough situations by matching them with mentors, enrolling them in classes that address financial planning, parenting and life skills and plugging them into school or training programs.
Women who've gotten their lives together like Guinan share their own stories – struggles, successes and all – with young women like Aja, who says Guinan and a mentor, Nancy, have taken her under their wing. "I needed to learn how to get on my own two feet to take care of my family and they've helped me to come pretty far. They helped me start college and get this job. I think the biggest thing was learning how to care about myself. I'm more focused now on me and my kids."
Empowerment helps but working a low wage job won't cut it. It's why Cook supports a minimum wage hike and advocates women explore training programs for well-paying nontraditional jobs in high demand like welding and traditional career-track jobs in health care fields.
"A disproportionate number of women work at a wage level that could not support a family without public assistance. Nebraska's behind the power curve in terms of offering a fair, living wage or the kinds of opportunities that allow families to work themselves out of poverty."
Cook says financial literacy "is very important" for women who don't know how to manage money. "The way many families are compelled to live whatever money comes in goes right out to some emergent or past-due need, so they don't learn to save."
Ericka Guinan calls for more services: "I believe we need more job training, quality childcare, affordable and safe housing options, mental health and mentoring for single mothers." She says women's voices must not be lost in the process. "In the Pathway Program we strongly believe each woman has valuable experience and feedback to offer." She says lawmakers need to hear from more mothers about the tough choices they must often make, such as buying food versus meds.
Creighton's Kalkowski says, "One of the things that has always amazed me is how brave so many working parents are to keep getting up every morning even though their situation is bleak. Most of us have no idea how desperate so many families are."
Guinan says no matter how hard it gets, single moms have a knack for making do. "We're survivors."
For advance tickets, email email@example.com. For more on the doc, visit www.filmstreams.org.
Read more of Leo Adam Biga's work at leoadambiga.wordpress.com.