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Posted inMovies

Bars Were Dangerous Even Before COVID-19

The true miracle of Road House is that Patrick Swayze is able to spin-kick above his head while wearing pants that come up to his nipples. All hairstyles here are basically crime scene footage of how we once murdered the ozone layer. Every shirt on every character is a billowy fabric stolen from the corpse […]

Posted inMovies

In Need of Rabbit’s Foot

About three minutes into Lucky, I sighed as I realized I was about to watch a film I’ve seen hundreds of times before and will undoubtedly suffer through hundreds of times again. It stars Harry Dean Stanton, in his final film role, as Lucky, a 90-year-old creature of habit who realizes his own mortality through […]

Posted inMovies

Reel Meaning

Art saves lives. That’s not hyperbole or exaggeration. Creating art as a release has let countless razorblades sleep soundly in their drawers. Consuming art that expresses what someone can’t say themselves, that tells them “you’re not alone” or distracts them from everyday horrors has allowed bullets and bodies to remain strangers. I don’t know what […]

Posted inMovies

Kung Ow Kickin’

Sometimes, life is simple. If you don’t like beef, don’t order a rib-eye. If you don’t like stale, recycled jokes, don’t watch CBS sitcoms. If you don’t like action movies, avoid The Raid: Redemption like a television-phobic vegan would avoid the stuff mentioned above. Writer/director Gareth Evans, who admittedly did much more to earn the […]