The Future is Babble

Within 10 years, American English will be incomprehensible to the modern speaker. Not only will it be flooded with new words, borrowed from immigrant communities and online speech, but the American accent will suddenly and dramatically shift. This will be in part from a new generation, determined to distinguish itself from previous generations, who they […]

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The End of Government

Anarchism is about to have its moment. The political philosophy, defined by a rejection of the state, will become the politics of choice for an enormous number of disaffected Americans who feel they have no home in any mainstream political party. Newspaper columnists will panic, assuming we are about to return to a time of […]

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The Future is Blue

The next 10 years will be a period of unexplained sadness. A large segment of the American population will just find themselves feeling sad in a way that defies medical science — not depressed, but merely blue, as though they were remembering something that saddens them. Those who have this feeling will not mind it, […]

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Our Future Peace

Believe it or not, we are entering a time of unprecedented peace. There will be an international exhaustion with violence that will lead to constant and vigilant focus on diplomacy and disarmament, and we will develop and economic interdependence that will make war unthinkable. It is our future. Dr. Mysterian has seen it. Now all […]

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The End of Drunkenness

Drunkenness will soon be a thing of the past. Even now, scientists are creating new chemicals that will make it impossible for an alcohol drinker to experience drunkenness, no matter how much he or she consumes. This will initially be developed for use on alcoholics, but soon will become generally popular, as parents give it […]

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Meat Jellies

One of the strangest food trends will be the revival of savory gelatin dishes, called “aspic.” These dishes, often made from jellied meat broths and containing meats, fruits and vegetables, were once popular in the Americas and Europe, but have long fallen into disfavor. Nonetheless, in the next few years you will start seeing aspic […]

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The Way of the Wolf

As sophisticated body modification becomes increasingly common, an underground will develop. There will be people who outwardly look normal, but have a series of illegal implants, mostly made with 3D printers. These devices will allow people to change their body shape at will, and some of the more sophisticated implants will allow hair growth or […]

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The Sour Tomorrow

We are about to experience a great shift in our national taste. Instead of craving sweet food, Americans will instead prefer sour food. This shift will be sudden and hard to explain, but may be the result of the popularity of yogurt, which we shall start consuming in unflavored form, enjoying the food’s natural acidity […]

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