Cutting Room for January 2020


Just imagine this ant from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids is Josh Gad. Now you know the mess we’re in.
  • We complain a lot about remakes, but science says that no matter can be created or destroyed, and some religions say even you will get rebooted. I’m trying to make you feel better about Shrunk, which is an updated version of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Technically, it’s just a distant sequel, as Josh Gad will be playing an adult version of the son from the original films. I know there’s nothing most of us have wanted more than either a much bigger or much smaller version of Josh Gad, as nobody is satisfied with the current amount of Josh Gad.
  • What’s that? You’d like more remake/reboot/sequel news? What are you, a studio executive who has no actual vision and relies on unreliable predictions about the value of public awareness about intellectual property? Despite the fact that the last Planet of the Apes trilogy wrapped up barely half a Scaramucci ago, they’re making more. If you’re not familiar with the sequels in the original franchise, they go full freaky-deaky bongo-bananas. Here’s hoping they don’t play safe and let new director Wes Ball give us weird underground mutant people and weird ape religious stuff. Basically, just try to make it actually stranger than our current reality.
  • This last note is a sad one: As of now, RIP MST3K. The resurrection of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the beloved Comedy Central show, will not be returning to Netflix, as they apparently spent their last money de-aging Robert De Niro and digitally removing all women from The Irishman. It seemed like the new crew was just finding their full stride, as some of the second season’s episodes sure felt like the classics. Knowing that reruns are eminently watchable, that the show bested death once before and that Rifftrax continues to exist means we probably don’t have to weepily mourn so much as petulantly pout. If only Netflix hadn’t given the Game of Thrones chuds a quarter of a billion. But hey, maybe MST3K will be reborn in time to mock whatever nonsense those chuds produce!

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on KVNO 90.7 on Wednesdays and follow him on Twitter @thereaderfilm.


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