If you haven’t heard or seen, they cast “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts I and II,” the play that continues the story of everybody’s favorite disfigured wizard. The big news? Hermione Granger will be played by Noma Dumezweni, a black actress. As expected, the racially tolerant, intellectually sophisticated denizens of the Internet reacted with calm aplomb. I’m kidding, they lost their racist minds. That prompted me to ask, if they object to Ms. Dumezweni taking over Emma Watson’s role because doing so isn’t “realistic,” do they not know the truth about magic and wizards?
Jeremy Renner will star in Undefeated, which will tell the story of boxer Rocky Marciano. I don’t really care to see yet another real-life biopic of a fighter. That said, I do anticipate this movie will feature Renner being repeatedly, forcibly punched in the face. So I’m there.
Netflix invented socks that can tell when you fell asleep watching the streaming service. This is apparently a part of their new line of “I’m Sorry You’re Going to Die Alone” products. Thankfully, this invention will save users from the indignity of pressing rewind or the burden of having a loved one who makes sure they don’t die in their sleep.
I liked Prometheus a lot. So I was excited when Ridley Scott announced a sequel. Prometheus 2 became Prometheus: Paradise Lost, and I was like “okay, cool.” Then it was announced to be heavily related to the world of Alien, unlike the last one. I was like “alright.” Then it got changed to Alien: Covenant. And I got confused. Then they announced that, although Rooney Mara would still be in it, she’s no longer the main character. That’s going to be Katherine Waterston. I eagerly await the next update, in which none of this has anything to do at all with Prometheus and is really just another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.
Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to email@example.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast, catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter.