We can all relax now. Kate Beckinsale decided to return to her role of “girl who wears tight pants” in Underworld 4 , which is sure to be the most wolftastic vampsplosion in the history of mediocre distractions. I’ll admit, I haven’t been keeping up with the series, because I don’t like things that aren’t good, but it’s good to know that Beckinsale will return to the role that made her posterior semi-famous. Emma Stone, the cutest thing you can’t buy at a pet store, is considering a role opposite Jonah Hill in 21 Jump Street. If you can’t remember or purged it from your brain, this is the remake of the Johnny Depp TV show about cops who pose as high-school students, something I think they’d frown on nowadays. I don’t mind this pairing comically, but don’t try to convince me again that Stone would be in any way attracted to Hill. There’s a limit to what funny and rich can get you, and it’s somewhere around Hill’s hair. Chloe Moretz, who played Hit Girl in Kick-Ass , will star in Emily the Strange , a character I’ve walked past while looking in the window of Hot Topic. She’s a comic character or a sticker or something who is, um, strange … and has a cat and hair like the girl from The Ring . So … there’s something someone will maybe look forward to watching! To the people who defend what I find to be rampant misogyny on “Mad Men”: Mel Gibson may guest star. Please direct your letters of apology for questioning my superior position to film@thereader.com. Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at Cuttingroomfloor.thereader.com and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

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