Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re only running your computer to generate heat in order to stave off Snowpocalypse Now. Seriously, did you see this?
That’s NOT from a movie. That’s the Windy City today. Luckily, I live in Omaha, which only has to contend with ridiculously sub-zero weather (a sneeze will freeze on your face)…but luckily, we were just selected as one of the top 10 drunkest cities, so the boozy booze will keep us warm inside. And if that doesn’t do the trick, maybe these SIZZLING movie news tidbits will warm the cockles of your…cockles? I was going to look up the definition of that word, but I’m on a public computer, so that’s probably not the best choice. Anyway, here’s the day’s big news!
WWSD?
That’s right, now that we know Superman will be sniveling Brit Henry Cavill, we are left wondering Who Will Superman Do? As in, who is going to play the lovely and usually lackluster Lois Lane? The character in the comics has verve and fight, but she’s usually used on screen as all women are used on screen in action movies: Bait. Superman will likely face some intergalactic villain with mind-bending powers who has traveled vast universes to find a foe worth fighting…and then decide the best course of action is to hold his girlfriend hostage. Seriously. The short list for the part reads like the short list for almost any part requiring boobies these days (provided said boobies aren’t older than 30, in which case the answer is always Meryl Streep). Here they are:
Kirsten Stewart
Jessica Biel
Malin Akerman
Dianna Agron
Olivia Wilde
Rachel McAdams
Now, obviously, you know my vote. If the choice was between Rachel McAdams and anything else in the world besides “Save yourself from a horrible death, Ryan Syrek, or Rachel McAdams,” I’m going to choose Rachel McAdams. Still, my rationale here extends beyond the obvious. Agron and Stewart are FAR too young (seriously, that they’re on this list at all is troubling), Akerman and Wilde are capable but uninspired, and Biel is flat-out wrong for the part. If done right, Lois Lane is one of my favorite female comic book characters, and this is coming from someone who is only lukewarm on Superman in general. If done wrong, she’s Kate Bosworth. I’m just saying…
The info that drove a bat-world battier
How desperate is the blogosphere for news about The Dark Knight Rises ? A dude was thinking out loud on a blog about Robin Williams playing the role of Hugo Strange…a part that may not even be in the film and an actor never associated with it by anyone. The next day, there were posts and tweets and skywriters declaring ROBIN WILLIAMS IS HUGO STRANGE! Seriously, people are so jonesing for another fix of information that any real nugget may kill them. Then came a real nugget.
It sounds like the long-rumored reunion of Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the only dude with three names that’s famous for reasons other than assassination) and Chris Nolan is true. Now what? Well the rumors of who JGL may play have ranged from the insulting (“he kind of looks like Heath Ledger…maybe he’s playing the Joker?”) to the stupid (Robin?) to the sublime (a dude inspired by the joker?). Everyone seems stuck on Hugo Strange, but that’s not true, I just don’t feel it. And The Riddler was ruled out by Nolan himself. So who does JGL play? I don’t think it’s a superhero (no Nightwing) and I don’t think it’s a supervillain either. I think it’s going to be someone prominent in Bruce Wayne’s life that ISN’T those things. Maybe a politician? A new mafia member? Or maybe someone else….maybe someone like a Zzazz or something. Supposedly he’s a villain and supposedly he’ll “tie together” Catwoman and Bane, but that makes no damn sense. The point is, get ready for lots of idle speculation that has him playing one of a hundred roles, and we’ll be wrong every time.
Gettin’ back to Jack
I’m now even more excited for the franchise that refuses to die! That’s right, the Jack Ryan franchise has had more fits and starts than an epileptic at a hundred yard dash, but it works every time. I’ve pretty much loved all of the Jack Ryan flicks from Hunt for Red October to Sum of All Fears . Now that Chris Pine is taking over, he’s going to bring a boatload of charisma to the role. Seriously, I’ve seen Star Trek 1000 times now, and every time I watch it, I like him. The news got better today, as Steve Zallian is returning to the writing role. Dude wrote Schindler’s List , which I’m guessing is not how he prepared for this gig. At any rate, I love spy movies. I love Chris Pine. I love that there’s progress on this front. No Bourne movies means there’s a void adult audiences are starving to fill. Fill us Chris Pine and Steve Zaillian!
Follow me on Twitter!