Well, it’s a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I’ll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good wishes going to the Monsters of the Midway.

Right, this is a movie blog. Blah, blah, mediocre superhero movie with Seth Rogen looking skinny (good for him, diabetes is a motherfrakker). Blah, blah, don’t see The Dilemma because they chose to keep in a “that’s gay” joke and because it’s as funny as a “that’s gay” joke. I really don’t have much else to say about this crappy crop. Well, nothing that can’t be said in haiku.

Here’s how I see it:

1.) The Green Hornet– $35 million

Skinny Seth Rogen

fights the evil Hans Landa.

And yet…not that cool.

2.) The Dilemma – $16 million

The big dilemma?

What to do with Ron Howard.

I’m thinking swirlies.

3.) True Grit – $12 million

This keeps making cash

Guess the Western is NOT dead

That gets a YEEEE HAAAW!

4.) Little Fockers – $9 million

True Grit will beat this.

Not just this week, but total.

Now THAT’S some justice.

5.) Black Swan – $8 million


Is that really possible?

You’re damn straight it is.

WILDCARD – Tron Legacy -$7 million

Talk of a sequel

But given its history,

that could take decades.

Okay, that’s it. You have a BEARy great weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday!

Follow me on Twitter (and root for The Bears).

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