Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions


Get ready for fun and excitement at the box office this weekend. And by fun and excitement I mean movies involving scary, undead people and other movies that don’t involve Clint Eastwood. Get it? Cause he’s old. And scary. And I don’t really like his movies that much. Anyway, we’ve got us a sequel to a horror movie, that comes the week before a sequel to a horror movie, and Matt Damon doing a Whoopie Goldberg impression (I mean talking to dead people, not storming off the set of “The View”). I’m not quite Reganing it this week like Jack on “30 Rock,” but I am really being productive, so let’s stop with the jibber jabber and get to some haikus.

Here’s what’s gonna happen, fools.

1.) Paranormal Activity 2 – $30 million

More low-budget fun,

with night vision camera work.

And zero Paris.

2.) Jackass 3D – $20 million

This will drop off big,

but it already won huge.

The rest is gravy.

3.) Red – $13 million

I hope this holds well,

because I love Miss Parker,

and violence as well.

4.) Hereafter – $12 million

More boring Eastwood.

It’s full of heaven cliches

if that is your thing.

5.) The Social Network – $8 million

Still respectable,

this comes back near Oscar time.

Should win some statues.

WILDCARD – Secretariat – $7 million

Go away dumb horse.

This should not do well at all.

It is really bad.

Okay, that’s it gang. Have a great weekend, see you on Monday!

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Category: Cutting Room, Film
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