Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

This week needs to end so I can start over. I need a clean slate and a clear head going forward. I doubt I’ll get either, but it’s nice to want things. This weekend is full of revenge, both in Red and with the Big Red taking vengeance upon the Longhorns of Texas for their bullcrap win last year in college football. It’s also full of nut shots, hopefully for the jackasses of Jackass and the jackasses of Austin. I’m tired, you’re tired, it’s been a terrible week, let’s just do this thing, k?

Here’s how I see the weekend, haiku style:

1.) Jackass 3D – $28 million

Nothing is timeless,

quite like the classic nut shot.

It’s always a hit.

2.) Red – $17 million

Bruce Willis is back!

But not the baddest ass here.

That’s Helen Mirren.

3.) The Social Network – $11 million

This is a huge hit.

It is now worth a hundreth

of what Facebook is.

4.) Life As We Know It – $8 million

No one likes Heigl.

No one has heard of Duhamel.

So why is this here?

5.) Secretariat – $8 million

Wow did I hate this.

There is nothing good in it.

I am not kidding.

Okay, that’s all I got this week. I’ll try to do better next week, but I make no promises.


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Category: Cutting Room, Film

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