Slow news weekend to the point that the big story was not that the Hulk will be CGI in The Avengers , we kind of figured that, but that he will be MOTION CAPTURED! That means Mark Ruffalo will wear funny pajamas and act out smashing things so that they can project a creepy, soulless recreation of him as the Hulk. Seriously, Robert Zemeckis is nuts, those movies are terrifying with the undead Tom Hanks and the reanimated Jim Carrey. Icky. Will it work better for The Hulk? Sure. Why? Well these are our previous attempts:

“Why Hulk look like he roll in poo? Why Hulk hair so stupid? Why Hulk pants so weird? Why Hulk look like he can’t go number 2?”

“LOUD NOISES! I DON’T KNOW WHAT EVERYBODY’S YELLING ABOUT!”

I like the latter better than the former, but both have that edge of falseness. It’s hard, you know, because I don’t know how to make a “real” looking Hulk, given that 10-foot tall green guys don’t come along often. Will the motion capture help? Sure? Who knows. It can’t hurt though. I mean, the only alternative would be to find a big muscle guy and paint him green.

“It puts the zucchini lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

And nobody wants that, right? That’s the most terrifying image not currently on a website requiring certain people post their picture and address alongside the crime they were convicted of.

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