Doodily doo…nothing to see here today…no news that would send shockwaves across the interwebs, wrinkling the brains and uncorking the loins of nerds or anything…squiddy squoo…I’ll just sit here twiddling my HOLY ANNOUNCEMENT (that isn’t the 10 commandments), BATMAN!!! We bagged ourselves a kitty!
Anne Hathaway, who I’m on the fence about as an actress (not as someone to look at, where there is no argument), is going to be Selina Kyle. Following in the tight leather of Halle Berry, Hathaway can be assured that she has the one role everyone is more than willing to see remade…and not just because it means seeing her presumably in something heavily spandexy. The problem is, I’m not sure Hathaway’s the right gal for the gig. Why? Well, I think she can play goofy in a goofy movie and straight in a straight movie but not straight in a goofy movie. What do I mean? Say what you will but Maggie Gyyylllllllenhaaaaall (that’s the right spelling, right?) acted the crap out of her role in The Dark Knight . She did. She tried so hard to make it seem like her stuff was compartmentalized, as though she were in a drama and everyone else was in some goofy superhero movie. The problem here is that Hathaway I think may be prone to playing up the costumed-shenanigans. I say this because she’s been circling just about every comic movie out there (reports had her IN the original Spiderman 4 cast). I am also not sure I like the inclusion of such a garish, loud, obviously comic booky character in the world Christopher Nolan created. I guess we’ll have to wait to see who the bad guy is before we make a judgment.
OH MY GOD WE KNOW WHO THE BAD GUY IS!
Tom Hardy is going to play Bane, who is known in the comics for snorting drugs that make him look like a shitty Mexican wrestler and for snapping Batman’s spine. Hell, that’d be a way to definitively end this installment of the trilogy, right? Leave Christian Bale in a wheelchair. Somehow I don’t think so. Look, the internets are going to devour these stories. One side will tell you that the inclusion of these two characters has damned the trilogy forever. The other side will hail this as “THE Batman movie I’ve always wanted to see.” I don’t know which it will be, but I know I have faith in Nolan, and so should you. It’s going to come down to the script, to the consistency with the other films, and to the acting that’s done up on screen. This won’t stop me from rampant speculation as to what I think is going to happen, but until I see the costumes and hear the plot, I’m going to keep cautious optimism alive.
There are other stories today, but they pale in comparison. Still, here they be:
The new X-men look like crap.
Sorry to my boy Matthew Vaughn, and hopefully this is just a bad promo picture, but this “cascading heads” photo from X-Men: First Class sucks like it was a Green Lantern cast photo.
Seriously, Beast looks like he’s droppin’ a deuce, everyone looks photoshopped in, Magneto looks like Gaius Baltar from “Battlestar Galactica,” and the costumes look awful. At least January Jones is hot.
No JJJ? No WAY WAY WAY!
Rumors have it that the reason we don’t know who will play JJJ in the new Spidey movie is that there will be no J. Jonah Jameson in the next Spidey movie. LAME! The day after the internet kinda confirms the mechanical web shooters (via Emma Stone saying “a device” is used…I was gonna make a “that’s what she said” joke there), the internet takes away by removing a classic, vital character. You can’t have Spidey without the Daily Bugle. You can’t have the Daily Bugle without JJJ. Thus, by the transitive property, I declare this stupid.
This is awesome
One more chance to prove how on-track Marvel is. Folks, this is as cool a photo as I have ever run. I cannot wait…I CANNOT WAIT! I would describe more, but I don’t need to.
Home fires are burning
Alexander Payne is returning to Nebraska. I mean, not the state, he already lives here. I mean the script. It’s a father/son roadtrip movie CALLED Nebraska , so I see why he wanted some distance between Sideways , a roadtrip movie, and this one. Personally, I couldn’t be happier, if only because I love watching the man’s work…especially when it takes place in my home state. Folks, I declare this a pretty awesome day. Now I just need a pretty awesome weekend (specifically on Sunday).
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