It was nice to see Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) so quickly and eloquently describe the point of Twilight last week on “Community.” He explained that the message is “men are monsters who crave young flesh.” Yes that seems to be the point. Now, if he’d have thrown in a few notes about how stalking is really just a guy’s way to show he loves you and some stuff about falling in love with a baby, you’d have gotten it all in there.

Oh Twilight , it’s been too long since I mocked you. Thankfully, I have a reason to pay attention to you today, and that reason is this:

Maggie Grace, shown above in what she wears to church with her mom, is going to star as Spoodlenork, the grand wizardess of the shamalamadingdongs who loves or doesn’t love someone and is really pale. The end. Seriously, that’s what I read when I read descriptions like “A member of the Denali coven, considered cousins to the Cullen clan as the only other “vegetarian” vampire group. When Irina blames the Cullens for the death of her lover, her actions set in motion a terrifying chain of events.” It’s like Charlie Brown’s teacher starts translating it to me. I predict Grace will slightly overact but still look amazing, as that’s what’s written on her business card.

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