Did you know that Amy Adams used to be a Hooter’s girl?

So let that be a lesson to all douches making lewd comments and considering inappropriate touching, as well as an inspiration to those working for a tasteless establishment named after slang for your body parts who are constantly besieged by the gropers and the pinchers! Be nice to Hooter girl because Hooter girl may one day become hella-famous! If, by some chance, you do end up walking in Ms. Adams’ overpriced pumps, hopefully you do not make a simple decision more complicated as the delightful redhead is currently doing. See, she has a choice between three roles right now:

  1. Opposite Matt Damon in director Cameron Crowe’s We Bought a Zoo , in which she would play the wife of a man who…um…bought a zoo
  2. Opposite Chris Pine in first-time director Alex Kurtzman’s Welcome to People , in which she would play a single mother and struggling alcoholic
  3. Opposite MUPPETS IN THE NEW MUPPET MOVIE

For real? This is a dilemma for you? Is the dilemma how to tell Crowe and Kurtzman they can suckity suck suck it? Is it that you don’t want Damon and Pine’s feelings to be hurt that you’d rather rub up against Gonzo? Seriously, what the problem is? You get offered a chance to act with Kermit, YOU DO IT! I can only hope for the sake of the legacy that is “The Girl from Hooters who Made Good” that she chooses well. That, or I’m going to have a new preemptive tip to hand out to those Hooter waitresses. I kid, of course, as I’ve never set foot in a Hooters because I value dignity.

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