Yes, this weekend does end with a whimper and not a bang. And that whimper isn’t just coming from me. It’s the wheeze that represents the death-breath of Saw , a franchise that just lived so far beyond the life it should have had that even 3D-ing it could only reanimate it’s corpse ever so slightly. Here’s hoping we’re done with that franchise…so everybody say hi to the second-place film, Paranormal Activity 2 , which has now made $65 million collectively on a $3 million budget. I’m sure we won’t be seeing one of THOSE every year now that Saw is leaving. May God have mercy on our box-office souls.
Here’s this weekend’s wrap-up, haiku style:
1.) Saw 3D – $24 million (Accuracy of prediction – 95.5%)
This is Saw 7
but they left that number out.
Maybe they can’t count?
2.) Paranormal Activity 2 – $16.5 million (Accuracy of prediction – 89%)
A tiny budget
and zero big-name actors
means big-ass profits.
3.) Red – $11 million (Accuracy of prediction – 81%)
This is holding great!
Mostly because it is fun.
And for old people.
4.) Jackass 3D – $8.5 million (Accuracy of prediction – 87%)
Poop jokes are ending.
Nut shots are moving along.
We’ll miss you, Jackass.
5.) Hereafter – $6.5 million (Accuracy of prediction – 88.5%)
It’s an Eastwood flop!
Can we hold him in check now?
His last few sucked ass.
Overall Accuracy of Prediction – 88%
That’s not good, life is too short.
Viva la MONDAY!!!????
Okay, that’s it, gang. Go be productive. I’m going to try not to hurl and count down the minutes before I get back in bed.