Going Clear

Somehow, Elisabeth Moss just seems uniquely prepared for a role that involves believing in the existence of a powerful being that nobody can see but should still totally believe is there. Hand to Xenu, it sure feels she’s trying to tell us something by choosing roles like the ones in Invisible Man, Us, Top of […]

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Wasted Running Time

Too dumb for adults craving a nostalgia-powered dopamine fix and too dated for kids who don’t know a Sega Genesis from the book of Exodus, the question isn’t what is Sonic the Hedgehog but why is Sonic the Hedgehog. The answer is obviously that every single “intellectual property” from Pet Rocks to breakfast cereal mascots […]

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Finite Jest

Everybody’s favorite thing about Suicide Squad is how sad and small it made Jared Leto. Everybody’s second favorite thing about Suicide Squad was Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn. She was so good that she overcame having to be in the proximity of Jai Courtney, a charisma vampire whose “acting” siphons all joy from nearby performances. […]

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The Best and Worst Movies of 2019

I feel like a broken record, which is such a dated reference. I feel like a glitch in the cloud? A repetitive autocorrect? Our hellishly redundant news cycle? Whatever. The point is that every year I have to explain why my annual best/worst movies list hits later than almost all others. Short answer: A monthly […]

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Eating Off the Kids Menu

Gretel & Hansel is basically what you’d get if the Brothers Grimm were more interested in superheroes than in wolves doing grandma cosplay. Cloaked in all the kiddie cannibalism and witchy wickedness that you’d expect from the Gothic fairy tale, director Osgood Perkins’s take is visually spectacular, if a bit narratively superficial. Honestly, the biggest […]

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