Happy Taurus, of “chorus”! Taurus analogously rules the throat. Read Taurus and Cancer, below, so you’ll know my little joke. Hell’s bells, read ’em all — ’cuz that’s all the MOJO wrote.


b TAURUS (4.21-5.20)  Boy, are you in luck! We’ll have to stay up late Friday night/Saturday morning, ’til 2:18 a.m., to catch the New “Cazimi” Moon in Taurus. Meditate/initiate for half an hour before and after — from 1:48 ’til 2:48 a.m. It is said to be very beneficial to start something important, and there’s only one way for us to check this theory out, right? Plant a seed from your dreams that fructifies on Mother’s Day, May 13th. Now, read Cancer for the joke. You’ll have a happy Earth Day, for you are THE GARDENER.

c GEMINI (5.21-6.21)  Your ruler Mercury just entered Aries, the sign of new starts, and resides there ’til May 8th. Meditate over this weekend (quietly and alone?) and seek the causes of your own self-undoing ’til the Moon enters your sign at noon on Moonday. Ride the wind ’til Thursday, for you are THE BREATH OF SPRING.

d CANCER (6.22-7.22) Please read Taurus. Thus starts your season of manifestation. Give form to your entire social scenario. It starts with you. First find and then fulfill your position within the/your tribe. Little baby utters “M-m-m-Mother…” Proud papa says, “Wow! Ten months old, and baby already knows half a word!” You are THE MOTHER.

e LEO (7.23-8.22)  Time for you to get “good-lookin’” once again. That’s what you’re paid for, my friend. Window dressing…the “front man,” the pretty face. Your reputation is at stake, and if you’re locked out, beauty of some kind will be the key. Get back on track. You’ve got 3 months to shine on everyone, for you are THE SUN.

f VIRGO (8.23-9.22)  Your ruler Mercury just entered Aries, the sign of new starts and your theoretical 6th House of work and health, ’til May 8th. Aries’ ruler Mars just moved direct in your sign after a lengthy retrograde period that began with the Chinese New Year on January 23rd. Finally, your Year of the Dragon can get its tail a-waggin’! You are (Mother/Father) NATURE.

g LIBRA (9.23-10.22)  Please read Leo — but you’ve got 5 months to prove it. The Sun and Jupiter (the planet of luck) are transiting your theoretical 8th House of death, taxes and other people’s money. Do we smell an inheritance? How does the MOJO know that if you want to get really lucky you should read Taurus, for you are THE BEAUTY.

h SCORPIO (10.23-11.22)  Well, now you see your “work.” Who you gonna do it with? Are they beautiful? Can they help you expand to “beautiful”? I’m sorry, but that’s what they(’ll) require to get you higher. What, may I ask you, does (your concept of) beauty require? Purity, balance, symmetry, harmony, proper placement, feng shui, timing, their eyes, fulfillment — or the promise thereof — plus an indescribable essence of intrigue and mystery? You tell me, for you are THE MAGIQUE.

i SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.21)  Please read Taurus, you lucky dogs! Use it now, for in mid-June your indescribable luck turns around. Let’s sneak a peak through the starting gate of your mid-June meditation right now… True, you are THE LUCK, but sometimes too much luck can create an insupportable dependence…

j CAPRICORN (12.22-1.20)  I know you’ve been brought up to revere the work ethic and berate/belittle “luck,” but read Taurus anyway, okay? There’s being good and there’s being lucky, but the good and the lucky rule this world! Remember the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold — rules. But how many kinds of “gold” are there? You are THE BOSS.

k AQUARIUS (1.21-2.19)  Well, aren’t we the love buckets! (Notice: no question mark.) Yeah, I guess it’s spring. It just happened again. (On the 18th! How does the MOJO know! Notice: no question marks.) All you have to do is think about it — and you just thought about it again! Love buckets unite! What a spring! You are THE AWAKENING!

l PISCES (2.20-3.20)  Jupiterians: Yes, you get to read Taurus, too. You(’ll) benefit through your brothers and sisters, your friends, your family and your tribe (3rd House). Therefore, read Cancer for your answer. Neptunians: You’re twice the Pisces you used to beeeeezzz… Illusion squared… Take a nap to map a dream of you being a king or queen. Make a movie. Write a poem. Sing a song. You’re a (keep your) boat afloat on THE OCEAN OF DEVOTION.

a ARIES (3.21-4.20)  I’m waiting for you right now, but you’re always late. I know, only according to my agenda, right? How’s the Aquarius? How does the MOJO know that ten’ll getcha twenty, you’re only in it for the money, honey. The New Moon and Jupiter are partying like dogs in your 2nd House throughout this whole weekend. Now, read Taurus. It’s time to see how much money you can find. You are EL TARDITO!

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