Merry Christmas! As one of Santa’s fulltime helpers, I can assure you that everyone gets exactly what they deserve for Christmas — and every other day of their lives. There are no mistakes. Peace and love shall conquer all.

j CAPRICORN (12.22-1.20)  At last! Wasn’t that a crazy month? Please bring some stability into the mix. Yeah, I guess that means that you(’ll) end up paying for Christmas again this year… We think/hope(!) you’re up to it. There’s a New Moon in Capricorn at lunchtime on Christmas Eve. If you’re not too busy playing Santa Claus for the/your world, you’ll be born again for Christmas — just like the baby Jesus. Hallelujah!

k AQUARIUS (1.21-2.19)  Speaking of being born again… How ya doing with the/your new “turnaround”? It’s going to be a new, exciting, electrifying New Year for your eccentric, eclectic self. Use this winter as a potentializing period to be born again — like never before. On March 23rd, 2012 expect to spring into life — like never before! “Altruism” is/will be a key. (Well then, look it up…)

l PISCES (2.20-3.20)  From February ’til November 2012, you’re in La-La Land. After that, it only gets deeper for you. Use this coming month to get as stable as you possibly can, and then remember — it’s even deeper than you remember. Your only chance is to create a book, some music, a song or a movie out of it. You’ve got 12 years. Be creative. Use the power of the/your subconscious to strike the chord that buoys/anchors your little boat amidst the tides and eddies that sweep across and through this ocean of life. Think/dream porpoise power!

a ARIES (3.21-4.20)  This starts your best month to channel your energy. Please read Aquarius. You’re hooked up to them for these next 6 years. Electricity will be a/the key. What does the color “electric, light blue” mean to you? In a month, switch to that color in your aura. Is that too “airy faerie” for you? What if I told you that you could get laid more? Until then, think red to get ahead.

b TAURUS (4.21-5.20)  Merry let’s-see-what’s-under-the-tree for thee. Ahhhh… Jupiter moves direct, particularly affecting April-born Taureans. Looks like luck, good vibes and money! Santa’s gonna know if you’ve been kinky or not. Something unusual happened last week, didn’t it? Your heart opened up to embrace some-/everything. That’s just the start. If you’re not merry on Christmas Day, you musta done somebody wrong…?

c GEMINI (5.21-6.21)  The social pressure’s off; but not yet the opposing dialogue, either with yourself, or another. The Sun is now past your opposite sign of Sagittarius. Time to go over the details of this last month. Your partner/enemy still offers you an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Money is now the issue. Your father or an older person has the key. Mortality/morality is taking its toll. If you can just remain quiet enough, everyone will/may pass you by, lost in their own (economic) blues and woes and not even noticing you. Don’t become your own worst enemy for Christmas. Sometimes you talk too much…? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaa…

d CANCER (6.22-7.22)  The New Moon in your opposite sign of Capricorn is at lunchtime on Christmas Eve. You’re gonna/kinda/wanta feel like hiding out and away on Christmas Day. When in doubt — pig/freak out! Make Christmas dinner a full-blown food orgy! Take a BIG BITE out of everything in sight… It’s always worked before, right?

e LEO (7.23-8.22)  Who’s gonna pay for all this? As if you didn’t know? Money, work and health equal the Capricorn New Moon in your 6th House — a reminder from MOJOPO. Time for you to get back to work. You’ve got dues to pay. When people work — you party. When people party — you party even more! Start now!

f VIRGO (8.23-9.22)  Problems at home disappear in/with/amidst Christmas cheer! Here, here! Get me another beer! Those same “problems” now become sources of pleasure. That’s the value of letting things/time pass. Same things — different times. Things change.

g LIBRA (9.23-10.22)  Please read Tauru$. Hark, a$ the herald angels $ing. Let’$ $ee what kind of money $anta’$ gonna bring… A love for something “unusual” is starting to grow. How does the MOJO know? We’ll discuss that next week, when once again we speak.

h SCORPIO (10.23-11.22)  You’ve got the money; now what? Time (ruled by Capricorn’s ruler Saturn) to communicate. But with whom? About what? If you’ve got a hundred good ideas and can pick the right 3, maybe they’ll pay for the other 97. Spend it on your brothers and sisters — your 3rd House.

i SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.21)  Time to make the money you’ve been conjuring since June. It’ll take ’til next June. Take it slow and steady. When people work, you party. When people party, you party even more! It’s like your job…

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