One week to prepare. For what? For next week and all the April Fool’s guaranteed to take over the pre-apocalyptical media circus. Remember, there are no mistakes. Peace & Love Shall Conquer All as soon as the oil runs out! Hey, could we be/are we the dinosaurs of the future? “Fill ‘er up!” — *ARIES (3.21-4.20) Wham! Bam! Thank you, Mam. You are kickin’! You’re two short weeks away. Dream your scheme, your ruler Mars is still in Pisces until the New Moon in Aries (the sign of new starts) April 3; part of a “stellium,” or four or more planets in one sign. This is the first significant astral event of 2011. Six Astrological planets in Aries on April 3rd. That’s the word. Want to start something!? *TAURUS (4.21-5.20) The whole world’s on the verge of political chaos and destruction and you’re just idling away in your own version of Shangri La. Venus is in the Aquarius/Pisces’ cusp along with Pisces’ mystical ruler, Neptune. You just can’t see why everybody just doesn’t love each other and get along? Jesus Christ! It’s Spring! Maybe we could just dream it into place? Let’s try? *GEMINI (5.21-6.21) You’ve got roughly (emphasis on roughly!) one long week to get as much as possible done on the communicative level before your ruler, Mercury, leads us headlong into confusing territories where we sometimes have to go to find where it’s at. This week put down everything you’ve got or want to happen in 2011 into an envelope and send it off. Next week you’ll be asked to go/look outside the envelope. *CANCER (6.22-7.22) It is/will be all in your mind. Someone or something is going to try to upset your equilibrium. You are/will be the cause. You’ll be in the middle. Let them work it out. If no one else perceives your dilemma, you are free to make up your own mind and draw your own conclusions, which will be the only way to extract/re-track yourself. Silence is golden. *LEO (7.23-8.22) Well, now that we’re at war we’ll need a King to tell us what to do and who to kill. Pull out the old crown off the mantle and as the Bible states “gird your loins.” In modern terminology, I think that means it’s time to put your “jock strap” back on? Queenie, who you gonna’ castle up with when/once Johnnie comes marching home? April works for you. *VIRGO (9.23-10.22) Please read Gemini. An Aries will prove/have the key to/for your money. You’re slated to play the April Fool. If you don’t flip out it can/will work for you by the “Fool Moon” on Palm Sunday. Old habits die hard. *LIBRA (9.23-10.22) Please read Taurus. It’s true for you, too. Put your responsibilities (your ability to respond) into one of those envelopes and send ‘em to your/any perspective partners. Your emphasis for April is/will be on the “not self.” Go ahead and look around? Test us. *SCORPIO (10.23-11.22) Emphasis during April is on your work and your health. Walk, jog, do yoga, turn the world upside down by standing on your head for five short minutes a day and come up with your next million dollar idea/scheme (!) and put/plant it into fertile Earth during May. *SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.21) Your Father or some symbol of authority is seemingly backing off for a minute in their seeming opposition to your harmony. They’re just gathering their forces until mid-June. You’ll be off and running and won’t even notice their disapproval until New Year’s Eve. Then it will be your Momma! Now, how does the MOJO know that? *CAPRICORN (12.22-1.20) Please read Libra. Your monstrous (Thank you, Lady Ga Ga) opposition is coming from your home center and altering/criticizing/ creating obstacles for/towards/against your concepts/necessities of your fame, your fortune and your career. *AQUARIUS (1.21-2.19) You are the unexpected spark of the new/next revolution. It’s continuous. You’re always there. You’re there right now. Don’t pretend. Don’t pretend — with me. Let it all happen beneath your exalted, enlightened view. We (will) need you; but not yet. You are more electrifying when you arrive unexpected? *PISCES (2.20-3.20) Please read Taurus. How was your rebirth? It’s hard for us to tell when you’re mad with Cosmic fervor and when you’re just mad? Can you tell (us)? Some people just don’t know how to handle or what to do with a complement? I guess it seems safer to hide? Still, you’re beautiful when you’re happy!

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