Still-Bourne Action

Like passionless martial coitus or a zombie doing Zumba, Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass simply go through the motions with Jason Bourne, a film without purpose beyond profit. The titular character, although that’s not even his real name, has a personality that could comfortably fit inside a thimble and has allegedly impressive fighting abilities […]

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Dubiously Inferior

I had absolutely no idea what Absolutely Fabulous was before I saw the trailer a few weeks ago. The trailer was nothing special but, after some light research on the ever-reliable Wikipedia, it was fascinating to discover that Absolutely Fabulous was a “cult classic” BBC sitcom with a hardcore fan base. As a fairly eclectic […]

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Not Even Friendzoned

There’s a moment in director Whit Stillman’s Love and Friendship when one character observes that the appearance of a particular mansion is a “bore,” and another character responds, “Yes, decidedly boring.” As much as it takes me out of a film when a character speaks the film’s title, it’s even more jarring when a character […]

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More Free Dumb!

The exhaustive brilliance of both Mad Max: Fury Road and Creed means you can’t dismiss a sequel outright just because of a decades-long gap between it and the previous installment. Unless, of course, it is directed by Roland Emmerich, who isn’t so much a filmmaker as a feces-smearing finger painter. Independence Day: Resurgence is expectedly […]

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My Bad?

Sometimes it feels like a bad film is picking on you. What could I have a possibly done to director Joachim Trier to make him single me out like this? Before his new film, Louder Than Bombs, I was positive that I’d never met Trier. Now, I’m paranoid that I may have inadvertently wronged him […]

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Aw, Man

Director William Brent Bell almost certainly envisions The Boy to be the ultimate creepy doll movie, relishing in all of our favorite creepy doll movie moments. I almost enjoyed a few scenes of the creepy doll turning its head slightly, moving around rooms, apparently walking down hallways and the many waist-high POV tracking shots. Almost. […]

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Wave Goodbye

Shortly after the third wave of alien attacks devastated humanity in The 5th Wave, I started reminiscing about the good old days when evil aliens would simply use powerful spaceships to devastate humanity in one fell swoop. Coordinating a series of global blackouts, targeted tsunamis, massive outbreaks and legions of invading body snatchers, seems like […]

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Crap-us

Well…Krampus sucks. In 2015, bad horror movies like It Follows, The Visit, and Crimson Peak, have been well-produced and well-acted, but without any bite or brains. Such is Krampus. In all fairness, the Krampus and its henchmen are solid movie monsters. I just wish they were terrorizing a better monster movie, as this one suffers from […]

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Pity the Privileged

These white privileged coming-of-age indie dramedies that folks salivate over at Sundance almost seem mandatory at this point. We get one every year. In 2012, we got Moonrise Kingdom. In 2013, we actually got a double dose with The Way, Way Back and The Spectacular Now. In 2014, we got Boyhood. This year, we’ve got […]

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