It has always been a firm belief of mine that models should be seen and not heard. Partly because them talking has often historically ended in catastrophe. Think: Naomi Campbell’s cell phone assaults or the now infamous Helena Christensen interview circa 1994 where she felt the need to incessantly rant about the importance of vegetarianism because ‘Leo’ told her (I’m assuming she meant DiCaprio since he’s on a first name basis with every lingerie model to have graced the pages of a Victoria’s Secret catalog) that rainforests were being depleted in order to make room for the growing number of cattle farms. She then, in front of the journalist interviewing her, proceeded to order (wait for it) spaghetti and meatballs. When it’s your job to sell clothes, the clothes should take center stage, not your low IQ. For some reason, still unbeknownst to me, models are rarely content with (as Linda Evangelista so eloquently put it) “not getting out of bed for less than $10,000 a day,” and feel the need to explore other career outlets. Namely, acting. This seldom ends well. Cindy Crawford’s performance in 1995’s Fair Game is proof she should have left it at the Pepsi commercials. Gisele in 2004’s Taxi speaks for itself. They say doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is a telltale sign of insanity. If that’s the case, Michael Bay should be committed. He recently cast Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Megan Fox’s replacement in the new Transformers installment. Apparently she was introduced to Bay last year when he directed a commercial for Victoria’s Secret. He said that during the shoot he was, and I quote, blown away by her “talent.” She has no previous acting credits. I know I shouldn’t be so cynical. While I kind of just want models to shut up and look pretty, I am forced to recognize that for every 100 models who try their hands at acting and end up delivering a worse performance than Mariah Carey in Glitter, there may be one Charlize Theron. Next year Natalia Vodianova will make a silver screen appearance in Belle du Seigneur alongside co-star Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I don’t know if Vodianova is the next Theron, but I do know how fellow model turned actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks (shirtless in The Tudors) and am therefore appeased.

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