I watched Nebraska lose on Saturday, then watched the Yankees lose (with my wife and her brother) immediately afterward, then watched the Bears lose on Sunday. If we just want to go ahead and pretend this weekend never happened, I’m good with that. That seems to be what the rest of the world is doing, as the movie news consists of recycled nuggets I’ve shared with you before and leaked trailers of gritty superheroes from Thailand (yep, that’s a real thing). So, here’s the plan: I’m going to give you this one semi-interesting but wholly non-original news item to start, then I’m going to drop a review or two on you, then I’m going to recap box office, then I’m going to bounce. I gots things to do this week, peeps, and when there’s doings to be done, you’d best get to doing them.

Here’s the news item of moderate interest I promised.

Keith Richards is returning to piracy in On Stranger Tides , the next Pirates movie. Can we just call them Pirates movies now? Because (A) they have traveled a little beyond that Caribbean we spoke of previously and (B) I really hate spelling Caribbean. It’s not like people would be confused, and it would make it a whole lot easier to type out during the inevitable short-lived box office takeover it represents. Featuring just Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp, this actually COULD be my favorite in this series, because the dead weight was always Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley…okay, so it was a combined 115 pounds of dead weight, but it was still dead weight. Having Richards cameo again does nothing for me, but if you’re into dudes who look like rotted, warty pumpkins, rejoice!

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