Within the first 10 minutes of Swiss Army Man, Paul Dano rides Daniel Radcliffe like a jet ski, propelled by the power of Radcliffe’s farts. There’s zero chance that this scenario hasn’t already been thoroughly explored in “Harry Potter” fan fiction, but it’s a first for the big screen. Say what you will about a […]
Grade = A-
The Joy of Dog Poop
What is there to say? Director Todd Solondz’ Wiener-Dog has arrived at Film Streams, and it’s not the kind of film that you “like” or “dislike.” It’s the kind of film that you just experience. So far, 2016 has been the worst year for new films in my entire life. The copious bad films have […]
Laughter Unshelled
Only a few people closest to me have ever heard my real laugh. Sure, people are used to hearing me chuckle, but that’s because my unrestrained laughter is such an ugly sound that I keep it suppressed. My real laugh sounds like the metallic squeak you hear when you’re in a home with old pipes […]
Lady Sings the Blues
Sunset Song isn’t as “in your face” despairing as something like the HBO series “Game of Thrones.” For comparison, it features 100% subplots solely dedicated characters being mercilessly tortured through genital mutilation. That said, it belongs to the same ilk of soul-crushing dramas. I’m not masochistic enough to risk a second viewing of director Terence […]
Funny Noir Die
Sporting dialogue hotter than a recently spent shell casing and comedy slightly less dark than a necrophiliac stand-up comedian’s set, The Nice Guys targets a niche audience. Luckily, I am pretty much the captain of the populace living in said niche. Crudely clever and savagely stylish, writer/director Shane Black’s latest doesn’t quite equal the magic […]
Ride this Dragon
2016 has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year for films; so it totally makes sense that one of only two truly great films I’ve seen this year actually came out last year. Embrace of the Serpent, the Colombian nominee for Best Foreign Language Film at the 88th Academy Awards, has finally made […]
United in Praise
At the end of the first Iron Man, when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) popped up to mention “The Avengers Initiative,” it launched what can only be described as the most massive collective nerdgasm in this or any quantum parallel reality. Since then, there have been minor nerdquake aftershocks (seeing the team together for the […]
Awake My Soul
Nostalgia, like love, erodes rough edges; it fills in gaps, paints clean what was scuffed, and forgives copious small sins in the name of happiness. I’m sorry, but none of the Star Wars movies have been perfect. Although some are demonstrably (laughably) worse, all abound with fractures and flaws. That we deeply love (some of) […]
Hurts So Good
In the lead up to its release, I can only imagine how many times director Lenny Abrahamson had to clarify, “No, you’re thinking of THE Room” when separating his project from the oft-spoofed “worst movie ever.” Now that it’s out, however, writer Emma Donoghue’s quiet emotional wrecking ball is heretofore the official owner of the […]
Extra, Extra Bad Things
So I’m talking to a friend the other day, and he says “I don’t see why we need the news anymore if we have social media.” The minute I stopped beating him senseless whilst vomiting due to the sulfuric smell of stupidity, I pointed out that Twitter has yet to take down a sitting American […]