Just Watch Once

Don’t Think Twice isn’t quite a misfire, but it’s still a bit disappointing after such a promising start. The first half hour or so felt as if it was setting up the best, most original comedy of 2016. Eventually, Don’t Think Twice settled for “existential crisis about adult-ing in New York” territory so “by the […]

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Disneyfied and Simplified

I recommend that you go see Life, Animated, although I have to be upfront about the hugely disappointing aspects of this documentary. First of all, I’ve read quite a bit of praise for the extended animated sequences featured throughout the film. Sure, they’re stunning to look at…but they rubbed me the wrong way. Something about […]

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Can Mew Dig It?

You either find it unbearably funny that a suburban dad named Clarence finds himself in a stripclub called HPV surrounded by hardcore gangsters who force him to take on a more “bad-ass name”—and that the “bad-ass name” he comes up with is “Shark Tank”—or you don’t. If you don’t, you are going to blipping hate […]

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Once, Again

In the name of Parker Posey, Natalie Portman and all other patron saints of Manic Pixie Dream Girls: Could you just…not anymore? Please? There remain countless scores of people who don’t realize listing 50 Days of Summer as a “favorite movie” means they literally do not understand how any part of relationships is supposed to […]

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I Spy the Same Game

Our Kind of Traitor is the cinematic equivalent of an airport novel, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is summer escapism for adults, a film adaptation of a thriller by author John le Carre that finds clever ways to tell a dumb and exciting story. Who cares that I probably won’t remember Our Kind […]

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Stupid Core

Central Intelligence looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship, even if it’s not quite a beautiful beginning of a beautiful friendship. Pairing up Kevin Hart and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a buddy action-comedy is obviously such a good idea that it’s hard to imagine why it didn’t happen sooner. Both actors have established […]

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Familiar Fish Tale

Baby Dory is the cutest thing that has ever been recorded in the history of cinema. This is an inarguable fact. She’s 90% eyes. It’s a perfect formula for adorable; that’s just science. You can ask Mike Tyson! Sorry, I meant Neil deGrasse Tyson. And yes, that was an intentional metaphor for switching two things […]

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That Boy Ain’t Right

Theoretically, dumping chocolate syrup on top of M&Ms on top of Oreos on top of cookie dough on top of fudge technically tastes “good.” You just don’t get an actual dessert if you do that. What you get is…well, what you get is diabetes, but that’s beside the point. Midnight Special is like that ooey-gooey […]

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Pop Culture, Popped

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is an all-you-can-eat buffet of comedic gluttony, serving humorous dishes to please every palate. Whatever your taste, you can dine on raunchy laughter due to an international singing sensation caught in a “penis tucking” scandal, the surreal nonsense of an off-screen fight with a flamethrower and killer bees or savvy […]

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