Burn Noticed

Forget Congressional censure and domestic or international courts of law, the Bush administration will apparently burn for their sins beneath the withering lights of largely ignored, star-driven movies. Score one for justice! If we can’t expect the guy who directed Swingers (Doug Liman) to preserve our democracy, who will stand as the last defender of […]

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Waiting is the Hardest Part 1

I narrowly dodged that Hogwart’s-bound train. By the time JK Rowling’s bespectacled wand slinger rose to prominence stateside in 1999, I was of legal age to get Harry Pott-ed and would only have considered following the literary series if name-dropping Dumbledore magically manifested female phone numbers. And yet, with a childhood peppered by a Star […]

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The Business of Being Boned

Not angry enough at how poor you are? Enjoying your unemployment too much? Having a great time with foreclosure? Check out director Charles Ferguson’s Inside Job for 120 minutes that will turn the most mild-mannered, tax-paying Bruce Banner into a Wall Street–smashing Hulk. Not a green Hulk, though, because there’s no green left. Writers Chad […]

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I’m Villain Happy

In an animated PG movie, children in the audience provide a good barometer for the film’s pacing. A single scene of over-their-head dialog or the tiniest pause in plot can result in 100 formerly awed children wiggling in their seats, disembarking en masse for the restrooms or, in the worst case, checking out the action […]

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Doctor in the House?

Calling a 30-some-year-old movie a “new release” feels strange, although we may all have to agree to redefine the word “strange” after seeing the ultra-bizarre 1977 flick House, directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi. The film’s lain in state for quite a while; but like any good zombie, reanimated just in time for our Halloween party, to […]

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Gray-Haired Black Ops

Wry sense of humor, sly sexuality, potent and visually stimulating violence? Oh, Ernest Borgnine, is there anything you can’t do? Okay, fine, although the 93-year-old gap-toothed thespian pops up infrequently in Red , a film for which all those previous descriptors do actually apply, his inclusion is a metaphor for the inexplicably kinda-awesome ha-ha/bang-bang extravaganza […]

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Naval Gazing

It’s a little known non-fact that Philip Seymour Hoffman has had a role, big or small, in every movie ever made. If you don’t believe me, just look for his cameo as “cherubic South Carolina racist” in Birth of a Nation . We all knew it was just a matter of time before he applied […]

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ATM Deposit

It’s 2010, which means everyone with a modem has stumbled across a video they wish they hadn’t seen, a movie depicting an act so vile that we thought they were urban legend; we couldn’t believe people actually did that — until we watched it. Our collective innocence fled sometime between the viral videos “Two Girls […]

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