Things were looking bleak for the Alien prequel that nobody needs. After Ridley Scott talked up an awesome, gritty, R-rated version that would tear our souls from our bodies, we all got pumped. At least, I know I did, as few things get me as excited as soul-tearing alien killing. Then came word that Fox balked at the price tag, a mere $150 million. Cue Damon Lindelof, “Lost” creator/arrogant-SOB, who was tasked to write a treatment that came in somewhere below that dollar amount and had mass appeal. I see where Fox was drawn to him, what with him delivering things that came in below expectations (zing!). Apparently, they think he aced it, as the movie has life again…and a PG-13 rating that doesn’t sound as “bloody” and “savage” as Scott teased. So my excitement went from “why are you doing another Alien movie” to “oh, Ridley Scott’s doing it and says it’s going to be crazy, I’m in” to “Lindelof borked it down to PG-13 and made it cheap, ugh.” But wait, there’s more. Natalie Portman is being sought for the lead, presumably because she hasn’t been rumored for a sci-fi production in the last five minutes.

So, now my excitement went from “NOOO, unnecessary prequel” to “YAY, Ridley Scott returns with an R-rating” to “BOOO, Lindelof and low-budget” to “OMG, will Natalie wear a tank top and underpants only to fight evil phallic-shaped aliens like Sigourney Weaver did?” My emotions are being toyed with here, people.

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