It’s election day. Obviously, unless you are intentionally hiding it from yourself, you can guess the direction my voting lever pulls. This is a movie blog, and I won’t stand up on this soap box and rail on about who you should vote for and why…or even do the whole “I don’t care who you vote for, just vote” schpiel because I DO care who you vote for, and if you’re going to vote for someone stupid and evil I would, in fact, prefer that you stay home. This is me asking everyone to just do a little thinking, a little objective research, and THEN vote. I truly believe if everyone voted out of reasonable research and not fear, anger, or because they were told to be some media personality, we would be far, far better off. So do that. K?

Now, I mention the election stuff because it set me back a bit. See, I had to vote this morning, which means not starting this blog writing until later, which means I’m running behind. So I had two choices: I could either give you SOME of the casting news explosion today in multiple posts or I could deliver one giant kablooooooey of casting shenanigans all at once. I opted for the kablooey because, hello have you ever met me?

Ladies and gentlemen…start your moderately-interested engines, it’s time for CAST-A-PALOOZA!!!! I ask and answer the following questions:

1.) Wolverine may be in X-Men: First Class ? – Hugh Jackman took a cab to the set of X-Men: First Class , according to rumors from….someone. There is nothing backing this up, but it’s probably true. Why? Because ever since Marvel did that cool Iron Man/Avengers bit at the end, all comic movies (especially Fox copycats) want to do that too. A cameo from Wolverine would fit, Jackman is already preparing for Wolverine 2: Talk to the Claws right now so probably looks like this:

And he’s a good guy, a team player, and probably thinks it would be cool. It’s a rumor, yes, but I’d like to believe it so I will.

2.) Leonardo DiCaprio is a serial killer? Take that, ladies. The drool-inducer is now going to carve up ladies in Devil in the White City . Not a whole lot of news beyond that, but it’s good news. Apparently the giant book that this is based on is really good and DiCaprio hasn’t done his obligatory “I’m a famous actor who everybody loves playing against type as a bad guy” role yet. My prediction? His first Oscar. We love to reward people for shit like this.

3.) Tarsem Singh directing Snow White ? – Apparently, visionary director Tarsem Singh, who also keeps himself busy composing my nightmares, is going to do the serious, Brothers Grimm version of Snow White , not to be confused with the potential Johnny Depp/Cameron Diaz vehicle that’s more goofy and action based. Singh has done some brilliant stuff with more placid, boring material…so the thought of him uncorking on a fairy tale is pretty friggin’ great. This is one of those decisions that moves the film from so far off my radar it’s not even a blip to OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT! Nicely played.

4.) Cameron Crowe wants Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, or Rachel McAdams? – Just not for the same things I want them for. What? I want them to write haikus for me. What did you think I meant? Apparently one of the following women will be Matt Damon’s wife and live in a zoo in We Bought a Zoo , which is the most literal title for a movie since The Dilemma .

She would be a great choice because she loves animals. You can tell by the leopard print.

She would be great to star against Matt Damon because she worked at Hooters. I don’t know why that prepares her, but everyone keeps talking about how she used to work at Hooters.

Um, not sure about this one. She was considered for the role of Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy in the Spidey reboot, so being Matt Damon’s wife seems a little creepy. Damon’s down though.

She deserves the part BECAUSE I SAY SO, OKAY?!

Whoever wins, if this is the actual shortlist, audiences are going to be very happy.

5.) Baz Luhrmann wants Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley? – But not for the same things I want them for. What? I want them to write guest columns on the blog. Jeez, guys, what did you think? Luhrmann is casting his Daisy in The Great Gatsby , which may have Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in it. He has about 5 names on the list, but you remember how I said I was running behind right? Here’s the two that matter, the ones who would do the best job:

She who is rumored for every movie ever: Natalie Portman!!!!

She who only does period pieces: Keira Knightley.

Like I said, there are others, but that’s not important right now. I actually think this adaptation could work. Luhrmann is often good (when he’s not doing Australia ), and the cast seems strong with DiCaprio and Maguire. That’s the extent of my thoughts. Gotta run!

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