Well, it’s a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I’ll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good wishes going to the Monsters of the Midway.
Right, this is a movie blog. Blah, blah, mediocre superhero movie with Seth Rogen looking skinny (good for him, diabetes is a motherfrakker). Blah, blah, don’t see The Dilemma because they chose to keep in a “that’s gay” joke and because it’s as funny as a “that’s gay” joke. I really don’t have much else to say about this crappy crop. Well, nothing that can’t be said in haiku.
Here’s how I see it:
1.) The Green Hornet– $35 million
Skinny Seth Rogen
fights the evil Hans Landa.
And yet…not that cool.
2.) The Dilemma – $16 million
The big dilemma?
What to do with Ron Howard.
I’m thinking swirlies.
3.) True Grit – $12 million
This keeps making cash
Guess the Western is NOT dead
That gets a YEEEE HAAAW!
4.) Little Fockers – $9 million
True Grit will beat this.
Not just this week, but total.
Now THAT’S some justice.
5.) Black Swan – $8 million
A HUNDRED MILLION?!
Is that really possible?
You’re damn straight it is.
WILDCARD – Tron Legacy -$7 million
Talk of a sequel
But given its history,
that could take decades.
Okay, that’s it. You have a BEARy great weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday!
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