Happy spring, next week — when once again, we’ll speak. One more week to dream, and then it’ll be time to scheme a plan for your new scene. Nightie-night ’til then, my friend. —From the best-dressed barefoot man you know, the Golden Troll of Rock ’n’ Roll, MOJOPO.


l PISCES (2.18-3.19)  Last chance to rule/ride the mystical world/wave of your mind. Here come the pragmatic pioneers (Aries) to clear out all the debris and fears of last year’s psychological vagaries (guess who?), facilitating a decision to initiate something to create this year’s spark that ignites/flowers into the fire of your spring. Faith and begorrah! Finish all of your March meditations with a symbolic corned beef and cabbage dinner on Sunday, and then share a toast to/for your new/next year’s “host,” as Mercury (conjunct Neptune) in Pisces moves direct.

a ARIES (3.20-4.18)  Boom! I know you feel it, but keep it in your pants ’til Sunday, when you’ll get a chance to dance amidst 2 unexpected(!) surprises(?) around dinnertime on St. Paddy’s Day. Wait for the Sun to enter Aries at dawn next Wednesday, the 20th, or thereabouts. Wake up early, wear red (or gold), and then let it all hang out all day.

b TAURUS (4.19-5.19)  How is love treating some of our most lovely creatures of the zodiac? Fifty/fifty, I’ll bet! How does the MOJO know? Prepare now. It’s sproutin’ time. This is a good agricultural/gardening year coming up. As an Earth sign, you’re here to be at one with — and therefore, close to — the world of nature. Your sign is the sign of Mother Earth. You’ll have one more week of swimmin’ in dreamland, and then 2 more Moons to find what your/this year’s dreams are worth…

c GEMINI (5.20-6.19)  Dreams don’t always seem to be what they first seem to beam… (Anything for a rhyme, anytime.) Time to weed through ’em to find/figure which ones/ways to use ’em, and which ones/ways to screw ’em. Wait to initiate ’til after mid-April, if you’re at all capable. With Jupiter in your sign ’til your next birthday, let’s see what this last chance for/at romance can/will bring to fill in your spring?

d CANCER (6.20-7.21)  You’re a week away. Spring is your thing! Finish your meditation and your vacation in a week — and then we’ll speak.

e LEO (7.22-8.21)  Read Cancer (above) for your answer (love). But in your case (since you always want more), it’ll be your turn to RRRRoooaaarrrrrrr…!

f VIRGO (8.22-9.21)  Please read the first half of Gemini (their best half?). For you, though, it’s all in seeming opposition. Pretty rough month last month? How does the MOJO know? There’s been a stellium of 5 planets in your opposite sign, Pisces. You’re not done yet. Low-profile and hang in there.

g LIBRA (9.22-10.21)  One more week in love-land (Venus in Pisces), and then it’s your love life on the line. You’ll either find ’em or you’ll fight ’em. That doesn’t leave much middle ground, does it? You’ve got ’til mid-April to get a good look at yourself from the opposition’s point of view. Usually the first step is accurate diagnosis — usually the most painful. Quick! Fall in love!

h SCORPIO (10.22-11.20)  One more week for youse to cruise in/on your pleasure boat/ship (an ocean liner of planets in your 5th House of Pisces), and then that’s all she’ll float/spit (anything for a rhyme!). Next week (the Sun and Venus moving into your 6th House of Aries) it’ll be time for your annual health checkup — and time for you to head back to work. And speaking of work… Remember, they don’t pee-test the boss…

i SAGITTARIUS (11.21-12.20)  I’m sorry. Someone’s gotta tell ya and, well… “The guys around the water cooler” kinda chose me… Well, here goes: You can be chunky. And you can be a drunkie. Take your pick, Slick. But you can’t be both and expect to continue with your formerly well-deserved, aristocratic, haute, cultured, aesthetic, holier-than-thou, I-got-it-all-together, devil-may-care attitude and demeanor. One way or the other, it’s time for you to fast.

j CAPRICORN (12.21-1.18)  Your everyday world needs an extra twirl. Your brothers and sisters need you; now, more than ever. Just like me, let your selfless service be the key to unlock the flow of your sympathy through to your life’s mystery. That’s your bonus, Jonas. This be the truth from Michael P. Make your move after the 4th of July. Tune in next week and I’ll tell you why.

k AQUARIUS (1.19-2.17)  You’re 2 weeks away from exploding all over the place. Pssst! Don’t tell anyone. That way, it’ll be unexpected. (Now burn this article!)

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