Rich people are trying to kill you. Yes, you. It doesn’t even matter if you put their interests ahead of yours in the voting booth like some weird political Igor. They want you dead. Don’t believe me? Okay, then Google “glaciers melting” and let me know how many pages of results you have to scroll […]
Watching a poor Irish woman and an Aboriginal Australian teaming up to murder-death a rapist British solider in the Tasmanian wilderness is something I never knew I always wanted to see. That being said, writer/director Jennifer Kent’s follow-up to The Babadook is never quite as transcendent or elucidating as the subject matter and premise may […]
In a form of intellectual segregation that should be familiar to Americans, Aniara watchers will be divided into exactly one of two camps: those who think that this bleak and mournful contemplation of life is nigh-perfect and those who are furious about having been tricked into watching a Swedish space orgy. An adaptation of a […]
Wouldn’t it be a much nicer world if today’s kids had more reason to be afraid of The Jangly Man than 8Chan users? The adaptation of the “good kind of traumatizing” Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is actually surprisingly savvy about social context. Set in 1969, the film draws an unambiguous parallel between […]
Technically, the movie is titled Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. This is, of course, to achieve the coveted double-ampersand score and also to let viewers know that the film takes place on whatever physics-free alternate universe/planet/reality the F&F series calls home. The film is a throwback to mismatched buddy-cop action franchises of the […]
With apologies to Poe, at some point our picture pendulum swung from pit to plenty. In the span of a millennial fart, we went from having to scour shelves at a Blockbuster video to spending 6-7 hours scrolling through streaming options before falling asleep exhausted. Finding something good to watch that you haven’t already seen […]
If it didn’t frequently come from such a violently bigoted place and wasn’t a major part of what is eroding American democracy, conspiracism would be downright hilarious! “Let him finish eating those paint chips so he can tell us about Abraham Lincoln’s illegitimate Martian love child” is now a nightly cable news segment. Sword of […]
“It was sort of Sally’s job to kind of, little by little, convince me to bring it down… It would still have what I’m talking about, but maybe it wouldn’t be so painful.” -Quentin Tarantino, The Cutting Edge: The Magic of Movie Editing For the second straight time, Quentin Tarantino has made a mean, ugly […]
There were moments during The Art of Self-Defense when I actually had to take myself out of the movie, step back for a moment, and just let it sink in that’s it’s one of the funniest fucking things I’ve ever seen. I’ll spend the rest of my life quoting its lines, wearing its lines on […]
Here’s a hot take that’s been baking in my brain oven for 25 years: Simba sucks. Hard. For the first hour of both Lion Kings, he acts like the savannah wildlife equivalent of a rich kid who can cut in front of you in line because “you know who his daddy is.” He then Houdinis […]
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