Happy Full Moon in Capricorn, as we transit the sign ruled by the Moon, the water sign of Cancer the Crab — our most sensitive crybabies of the zodiac. Now don’t lay/start that “wahhh, wahhh” routine/jive on me! If there’s something to be irritable about, you’ll find it. Wah! Wah! Here it comes. Read on. There are no mistakes. Peace and life shall conquer all.


d CANCER (6.22-7.22)  As always, food is/will be your answer; but what is the question that you seek? Maybe it’s not lack of food that makes you/us weak? You’ve got one more week before, once again, we’ll speak. Fill it with kindnesses. Think artfully. Fall in love. I’m sure there must be more than one way to show somebody you love them, right? Call me if you can think of any…

e LEO (7.23-8.22)  One more week ’til it’s your turn to speak. You’re the hero or heroine, depending on the bag you’re in. Your clergy won’t call it a sin if you win. If you lose it’s the blues for one more week, ’til next we speak.

f VIRGO (8.23-9.22)  You’re ahead of the game, but behind on yourself. That’s when mistakes are made. Your helping of people with their money somehow doesn’t work for you. As Virgo/Leo-cusper Guitar George has said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” Let’s thank George for the tune-up.

g LIBRA (9.23-10.22)  Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam — and I’ll show you a pad that needs plenty of upkeep! How’s the sloppy creep(s) you’re living with? Ahh… Domestic harmony! What a thought. Who would’a, could’a, should’a thought? You were bought and sold, comin’ in from the cold, but now it’s getting “olde.” You’re hot; but it’s not! You’re two weeks away from the/a price/pot of gold.

h SCORPIO (10.23-11.22)  Are you lost or found? Keep it close to the ground. You’re in if you win…quietly. We’ll see, won’t we? Let’s remain humble and prepare for success. August 13th would be my best guess.

i SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.21)  If you just continue plodding along, you’ll hate it! You’re dying to jump up, jump out and jump on it — except for logic, the weight of responsibility and the lack of sufficient economy… Ring a bell, Pavlov? It will. Landscaping, real estate, art, beautiful women and the money it takes to keep up with them… Paris? Texas? Pick up the gait if you’re going to relate. Step out and/to step ahead.

j CAPRICORN (12.22-1.20)  Check out Libra, above. This Full Moon is in your sign. It’s your half-birthday! Who, what, when and where do you want to be by next January? Happy half-birthday to thee! Balance, beauty and harmony…

k AQUARIUS (1.21-2.19)  Boom! It ain’t working! Somebody’s been jaw-jerking, and we’re not for certain who — or if — it wasn’t/couldn’t have been you, Boo Boo. Somebody’s got to play that/the part, that’s true. This weekend your relationship with a parent or in-law is stepping up to the dinner plate to relate. How does the MOJO know?

l PISCES (2.20-3.20)  Back to the beginning, for an extra inning. Use the time ’til your birthday to recapitulate these last 13/14 years, hidden/hiding behind/beyond your tears/fears. Sure, Cancers are the BIGGEST crybabies, but you guys take the cake for martyrdom. Hell, you’ve made a religion out of it, haven’t you? Could you cross your legs, please? We only have one more nail.

a ARIES (3.21-4.20)  Still haven’t read a book, have you? How does the MOJO know? I used to be a Martian — or tried to be. Whenever a macha chick would say I scared her, I knew I had her. See, I knew what it was like being a tough guy — ’til I realized the biggest bullies/tough guys were the biggest cowards. You see, they just couldn’t hang with the pressure. See, I know what it’s like. Now, let’s see you read a book… I double-dog dare you! See, I know how to talk your language…from books!

b TAURUS (4.21-5.20)  Read Libra; only with you, it’s your brothers and sisters. You’re trolling through some murky waters (is that Muddy’s brother?). As always, your mom’s the key, especially for these next two weeks. Your relationship with your mom is your relationship with the universe — a blessing or a curse? Which hurts worse? Pretty deep, huh?

c GEMINI (5.21-6.21)  You have 2 hands… You’re left holding the bag. Your rights are fleeing/leaving in the night, and departing on morning flights. With Mars in Gemini ’til August 2nd, wear red to get ahead — or you’re dead. Rockets to the Moon. We’ll be/live there soon. Motorcycles to Mars. Expressways to the starzzzzzz… RRRRrrruummmm… RRRRrrruuummmmm… Time to take off…

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