• While he was The Governator, didn’t you sometimes look at Arnold Schwarzenegger and think, “Man, I wish you’d take your shirt off and hoist a giant sword above your blossoming grandpa man teats!” No? Just me? Well then I’m in luck, as Arnie is going to star in The Legend of Conan. The ten of you who saw it may be thinking, “Didn’t they just reboot Conan like a year ago?” They did. But don’t worry, this new movie ignores that movie…and also ignores the original film’s sequel, Conan the Destroyer, pretending there’s only that first barbarian flick. Trust me when I say it is not only “the women” whose cries of lamentation will be heard.
  • In a rumor that’s shaking and stirring fans, newly minted Bond girl Naomie Harris revealed that an interesting fella met with 007 producer Barbara Broccoli to discuss taking over for Daniel Craig when the public tires of his craggy-faced, perfect-bodied interpretation. That interesting fella was Idris Elba. Hold on to your tea and crumpets, Bond may go black, presumably never coming back. While this is far from reality, how unbelievably cool would it be for an established action franchise like this to break stupid, unnecessary unspoken laws about racial confines of iconic characters? Nothing, and I mean nothing, about James Bond necessitates Caucasian ancestry, but that won’t stop Internet trolls from unleashing jokes about hip-hop remixes of the Bond theme, which, let’s face it, would actually be friggin’ awesome. (https://www.sliderrevolution.com/)  
  • In what could only be described as many people’s worst nightmare, Nicholas Winding Refn had Ryan Gosling and then lost him. Refn’s Logan’s Run remake had the feminist meme generator playing the lead, but Gosling had to bow out due to his busy schedule, which probably includes notes like “do more crunches” and “work on developing a weird East Coast accent even though I’m from Canada.”  

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast (movieha.libsyn.com/rss), catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 (cd1059.com) on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 (KVNO.org) at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

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