Image Die Hard but instead of bullets, there’s talking. And instead of getting snaped by Alan Rickman’s villain, Jason Bateman talks a lot. And instead of Bruce Willis saying “Welcome to the party pal,” Taron Egerton scowls and sometimes frowns…and listens to people talking a lot.
Carry On is so close to being the good kind of dumb, which makes it simply dumb. However, there is a glorious, next-level car fight that lasts precisely one minute and feels ripped from a movie people would watch on purpose and not because Netflix just kind of starts it while you’re looking for the remote. It feels like what it is, which is a movie by the guy who directed several Liam Neeson action movies. And not the good one. The good one is The Grey, just so we’re clear.
Carry On is a light bit of copaganda that sees Egerton working as a TSA agent. His character absolutely has a name that is repeated many times, and no one on earth will ever remember it without looking it up on the Internet. TSA Cop Wannabe finds out that his girlfriend (Sofia Carson) is pregnant just before Christmas. His career has been a rut since he didn’t get to be a police officer, but hearing that he’ll be a father makes him want to try at his job.
So he convinces his boss (Dean Norris) to move him up to the TSA big leagues: bag checks. Oopsie poopsie, he happened to pick the day that a criminal terrorist evil man (Bateman) wants to smuggle something onto a plane. Talking to our “hero” via earbuds, bad guy threatens to kill pregnant girlfriend. What follows could actually be fun, with two foes trying to outsmart each other but ends up just really, really stupid.
The biggest source of tension in the film comes from simply spending time in an airport. It’s the most stressful place in the world. The script doesn’t really leverage that setting. Or much of anything. Writer T.J. Fixman, which is a very real name but also something that a terrible spy pretending to be a handyman would call himself, had previously primarily written video games. Specifically, he wrote six “Ratchet & Clank” games, the Ratchet & Clank animated movie, and now Carry On, which is ratchet and clank in its heart.
Honestly, dumb action-thrillers in closed settings with an “elevator pitch” premise are often delightful. But something is off here. Egerton isn’t fun or having fun. Bateman isn’t either of those things either, opting for what is a mostly sincere villainous turn. Every time the movie gets close to something fun or awesome, it bails. You could say, this airport-based film has no takeoff. But for real, google “Carry On Movie Car Crash” and you will see everything you need to see.
Please don’t be discouraged by this, Netflix. This is the type of stuff you should be making. It should just be slightly better. Maybe pair a guy who directed a Jason Statham movie with the writer who did the “Tomb Raider” games next. Inch your way up, you know? We’ll all watch. We have to. You make us.
Grade = C-
Other Critical Voices to Consider
Kate Sánchez at But Why Tho? says “Carry-On is an action thriller that absolutely understands where it belongs in its genre and in the Christmas season.”
Lisa Laman at Culturess says “Even a fitfully amusing skirmish scene set to “Last Christmas” and the always-welcome presence of Deadwyler can’t conceal that Carry-On would’ve benefited from a more confidently streamlined storytelling approach.”
Sherin Nicole at RIOTUS says “everyone is chasing Die Hard, which is as hard to accomplish as swimming the English channel while it’s fully frozen over. Still, the chase has produced some enjoyable results, and Carry-On is highly entertaining with lots of panic-filled intensity.”